Moron Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

67 Results for Moron

View 31 - 40 results for moron comic strips. Discover the best "Moron" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office noise, whistling, comnfrontation, whiney appearence, cubicle, freakin moron, work-around situation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Gaaa! That idiot is whistling in his cube again!!!" "I would complain but I don't like confrontation." "I can't talk to his boss because I would appear whiney." "There's only one solution." "Alice, please stop by my cubicle when you get a second." Alice: "What's up? Wait. I'll be right back." "STOP WHISTLING, YOU FREAKIN' MORON!!!" "What's up?" Dilbert: "Never mind. I found a work-around."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new vp of marketing, improve revenues, ridiculous lie, gullible moron, he believed it, touche

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our new VP of marketing promises to improve our revenues by ten billion percent! Alice: "That is a ridiculous lie that only a gullible moron would believe." Dogbeet: "Oh yeah? How do you explain the fact that HE believed it?" The boss: "Touche"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags problems, solutions, won't work, moron

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions." Dilbert: "When I bring you solutions, you tell me they won't work and treat me like a moron." The boss: "What's the problem with that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags old job, better than here, great company, fired, quit, moron

View Transcript

Transcript

"At my old job, we did everything better than we do it here." Alice: "They sound like a great company. It's no wonder they fired you." "They didn't fire me. I quit to come work here." Alice: "So, your point is that you're a moron?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cansisate, resume, spelling errors, hire a moron, poor perfromance, bigger reaise, interview skills, crazy good, manipulate, job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Your resume is riddled with spelling errors. Why should we hire a moron?" Candidate: "My poor performance would make you look good in comparison. you'll get a bigger raise if I work here." The boss: "What do you think of him?" Dilbert: "Well, his interview skills are crazy good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice quits, 2 weeks notice, 20% raise, calls father, quitter, moron, raise instead of quit

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, I got your two weeks' notice." "Will you stay if I give you a 20% raise?" Alice: "Okay." "Hey dad, do you remember you said I should never be a quitter? You do? Well, it turns out that you're a moron."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agreement, bad news, euphoric feeling, harsh landing, illusion of progress, lasts a minute, momentary sweetness, reacts, spoiler, planning meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Okay, we have a good plan forward. This meeting is adjourned. Oooh!!!" "AaaaH!!!" Asok: What is that?"AAAH!! Dilbert: She's tasting the sweet nectar of the illusion in progress. It's that euphoric feeling you get between the time you make a plan and the time some moron thwarts it. AAAH!!! It can last anywhere from less than a minute to as much as a minute. Wally: Ted won't meet with us because someone told him that you told someone else he was an obstacle. Alice: GRRRRR!!! Dilbert: The landing is harsh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sensitive material, interoffice, topsecret, moron, security department, slap hard, run fast

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Your most sensitive materials should always be sent in an interoffice envelope marked 'top secret. Dilbert: Are you a moron who works in our security department, or an industrial spy who is too lazy to look through lots of envelopes? The boss: Our security guys don't slap that hard or run that fast.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags writing, newsletter, reading, ridicule, Family, annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I've been asked to chronicle your rise to management for the company newsletter." Tina says, "So far, I have the story of how your father was a barrel-shaped moron who married a blind woman." Tina says, "But it could have been the other way around. I'm mostly guessing." The boss says, "Lucky guess."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, brilliant, moron, appearance, superficial, beard, silent, Funny, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I invited silent Gary to help us decide on a technology direction." The Boss says, "We think he's a genius because he has a beard and he never speaks." The Boss says, "Gary, do you think we should use open source software for our support platform?" The Boss says, "Here it comes. He's rubbing his beard and giving me creepy eye contact." THe Boss says, "I detect a slight hint of disgust. It means Gary hates the idea! The Boss says, "Yes, it's all so obvious now. This is the worst idea in the history of mankind." The Boss says, "THe meeting is over. Silent Gary has spoken." Dilbert says, "You're actually a moron, aren't you?" Gary says, "Don't ruin this for me."