Morons Comic Strips - Page 4

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46 Results for Morons

View 31 - 40 results for morons comic strips. Discover the best "Morons" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #raises, #percentage raises, #dont discuss, #humilaiting, #low raises, #wages, #money

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"Please don't discuss your raise with co-workers." "Whatever." "Let's see how the losers and morons did." "You only got 6%? I got 8%." "9%. Why do you ask?" "7.5%. Anything less would be humiliating." "Well, let me see...I think it was..." "Brace for impact." "8.5%" "GAAA!!" "Has she yet learned why it is a bad idea to discuss her raise with co-workers?" "Sounds like it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #password recovery, #basic, #123, #guessed, #average, #spooky

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Dogbert's password recovery service for morons The Boss: I don't remember my password. Dogcart: Is it '123'?" The Boss: That's just spooky.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #password recovery, #morons, #forgot password, #nostrildogmas, #messed password, #psychic

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Dogbert's password recovery service for morons Ned: I done forgot my password. Dogbert: What's your name? Ned: My name is Ned, I think. Is your password 'Ned'? Ned: Sweet baby jeepers, you're like some sort of Nostrildogmas!" Dogbert: Here's a brochure for my cult.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I spent this entire week unscrewing the problems created by your ambiguous communication." "Next week I hope to unscrew the problems created by your hiring of morons." "Moving on, I've made some changes to the budget." "There goes April."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #eliminate dept, #what do we do, #explain things, #morons

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The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #ridicule, #cruel, #mean, #rude, #angry, #annoyed, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "With your skills, you have a variety of career options." Catbert says, "For example, you could flap your arms and fly to a planet that places a high value on morons." Catbert says, "Etcetera."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quantifying, #liar, #thief, #overseeing work

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The Boss says, "Maybe someone can help you quantify the value of your research and development work." Dilbert says, "The only people who can quantify the value of researcg are liars and morons." The Boss says, "Maybe we could hire a consultant." DIlbert says, "That just turns a liar into a thief."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #change, #communicate, #clear, #moron, #mock, #tease, #fuh, #business

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The Boss says, "A successful transformation requires employees to feel ownership for the change." Alice says, "Change? What change?" Dilbert says, "Is there something we don't know?" The Boss says, "It's important that everyone has clear roles and responsibilities." Alice says, "What are you trying to tell us? Should we stop working on our projects?" The Boss says, "I'll keep you engaged and energized with my clear communication." The Boss says, "And as your leader, I will role-model the desired change." Alice says, "If he's our role model, I guess we need to act like morons who can't communicate." The Boss thinks, "I need new people." FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #public speaking, #powerpoint slides, #intelligent viwers, #manipulative anecdotes, #boss died, #praise employees

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Dilbert: My PowerPoint slides have a little something for everyone. For my intelligent viewers, I have data, and for the morons, I have manipulative anecdotes. Which reminds me-- did you hear about the boss who died because he didn't praise his employee?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #Family, #work ethic, #work hard, #anything you want, #moron parents

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Boss: My parents taught me that if I worked hard, I could be anything I wanted. Alice: And you chose... this? His parents sound like morons. Dilbert: Maybe he didn't work hard.