News Comic Strips - Page 4
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Character
166 Results for News
View 31 - 40 results for news comic strips. Discover the best "News" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 17,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, crew, investigate, television, healing, scam, money, interview
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk counting bags of money and humming. Dilbert says, "A news crew is here to investigate your television healing scam." Dogbert sits in a chair across from a reporter and a tv camera. The reporter says, "Explain to our 40 million viewers where the money actually goes." Dogbert replies, "Send those checks to Dogbert, post office box . . ." The reporter thinks, "Maybe I phrased that wrong."
Wednesday July 22,
1992
Tags Dilbert, future, internet & world wide web, math, news, news reporter, supercomputer, nut mines, conquer
Transcript
A newsreporter wearing a trenchcoat says into a microphone, "This man used his supercomputer to predict the future of the world." The reporter holds the microphone out and Dilbert says, "Within five years, evil squirrels will conquer the world and make us all slaves in their nut mines." The reporter says, "The squirrels should love this guy." Dilbert adds, "It's based on actual math."
Friday September 18,
1992
Tags ratbert, Dogbert, talking, lab, cow, egg, industry, discredit, vegetarian, movement, paid, meat, healthy, rat, ironically, chokes, death, carrot
Transcript
Ratbert and Dogbert walk toward each other on the sidewalk. Ratbert says, "Hey, Dogbert, everybody is talking about you at the lab." Dogbert asks, "Really?" Ratbert says, "The 'cow and egg' industry is going to discredit your vegetarian movement. They paid us to prove meat is healthy." Dogbert says, "What's your role?" Ratbert replies, "I play the rat who ironically chokes to death on a carrot during the news conference." Dogbert replies, "Great . . . I'll have to see that on CNN about a jillion times."
Sunday September 27,
1992
Tags Dogbert, detective, research, potential, romantic, partner, considering, dating, worried, bill, ego, emotional, depth, conversations, cheating, body, mind, normal, bad, news
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk under a sign that says, "Detective research on your potential romantic partner." A woman says, "I'm considering dating a man, but I'm worried." Dogbert asks, "What's his name?" The woman answers, "Bill . . . His name is Bill." Dogbert says, "Ahh . . . Bill . . . Yes, I know all about Bill." Dogbert continues, "Bill has a huge ego. All he thinks about is himself." Dogbert continues, "He has no emotional depth and he thinks of your conversations as mere chatter. He wants your body, not your mind." Dogbert continues, "Several times a day, Bill imagines himself with different women." The woman looks upset. The customer says, "Darn. This time I thought I'd found a normal guy." Dogbert says, "I have some really bad news for you."
Tuesday December 01,
1992
Tags alien, Dilbert, disguise, space, stock market, Dogbert, power, antennae, surrender, interest rates
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk wearing a pair of antennae. A cameraman and two news reporters stand in front of him. Dogbert says into the microphones, "As my antennae clearly prove, I'm a space alien with incredible powers." At home, Dilbert sits in his chair watching Dogbert on tv. Dogbert says, "I call on the nations of the world to surrender. Otherwise, I will cause your stock markets to fall." Later, Dilbert and Dogbert watch television together. The newscaster says, "The market fell five points today. Analysts blame interest rates and aliens." Dogbert says, "Yes!"
Wednesday December 02,
1992
Tags alien, Dilbert, Dogbert, space, television, leaders, world, world domination, parking space, elevator, reckless, prank, translator
Transcript
A television news reporter says into her microphone, "The leaders of the world met today to consider the demands of Dogbert the Space Alien." At the United Nations, a world leader says, "All in favor of letting the alien run the world raise your hand." The caption says, "Meanwhile in the translators' booth, a reckless prank is being played." Three translators with headsets sit at a table. One translator says, "He says, 'Who wants my parking space by the elevator?'"
Thursday February 18,
1993
Tags Dilbert, alice, the boss, good, bad, news, companies, compete, small, nimble, rate, smallest, company
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've got good news and bad news." The Boss continues, "The bad news is that huge companies like us can't compete against small, nimble companies. The good news is that at this rate WE'LL be the smallest company around." Dilbert, Alice and Ted shout, "We're number one! Yes!!" The Boss thinks, "What am I doing wrong here?"
Wednesday April 28,
1993
Tags Dilbert, tragic, story, update, reported, killed, weather, Sports, injury, news, drove, pedestrian
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The newscaster says, "After that tragic story we have an even more tragic update on a previously reported tragedy, then . . ." The news reporter continues, "We'll tell you about people who got killed by the weather. And in sports we profile the injury of the week." The newscaster continues, "And in local news, not much was happening, so we drove the news van around until we hit a pedestrian."
Thursday April 29,
1993
Tags Dilbert, television, network, reports, stories, Games, yesterday, millionaires, problems, darryl, brain, crime
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a television news network that only reports happy stories." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "In sports, fifty percent of the teams won their games yesterday and all the players are millionaires - most of whom have no serious drug problems." Dogbert continues, "Our person of the week is Darryl, who, despite his tiny brain, found success through a life of crime." In the corner of the tv screen there is a picture of a man holding a bag of money and hugging a woman in front of a palm tree.
Friday April 30,
1993
Tags Dogbert, news, jobs, billion, owls, asteroid, coincidence, researchers, television, device, idiots
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert's good news show." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "Nine out of ten people have jobs . . . Three billion people had a nice day today . . . And the forest has plenty of owls." The caption says, "Regular news show." A news anchor says, "A huge asteroid could destroy earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries." The other reporter yells, "We'll all die!!" The caption says, "Back to Dogbert . . ." Dogbert holds a remote control and says, "In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off of your television screen."


