Obliviousness Comic Strips - Page 4
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122 Results for Obliviousness
View 31 - 40 results for obliviousness comic strips. Discover the best "Obliviousness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 13,
2014
Tags big business, business ethics, obliviousness, core competencies, automating things, worshipping stars quo, steve jobs, reanimated body, making lapses, fiduciary responsibility, hearing what we want
Transcript
Dilbert: I did a study of our core competencies. It seems we're very good at automating things that we shouldn't be doing in the first place. But that's not all we're good at. We're also good at worshipping the status quo as if it were Steve Jobs' reanimated body. And no one is as good at masking lapses in fiduciary responsibility. Lastly, we're good at hearing what we want to hear. Boss: So... we're good at automating things?
Monday July 21,
2014
Tags obliviousness, thinking, decisions, unsupported belife, paraphrase incorrectly
Transcript
CEO: Spare me the tedious technical details. I make my decisions based on the people involved. Dilbert: So you replaced your unsupported belief that you could spot winning projects with an unsupported belief that you can identify winning people? CEO: Stop making it sound dumb! Dilbert: Should I try paraphrasing it incorrectly?
Friday August 01,
2014
Tags executives, obliviousness, act like start up, ask for funding, hacker
Transcript
CEO: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean we can ask for funding for one thing and then pivot six times and build something entirely different? CEO: Is there a version where we don't do any of that and I can still call myself a hacker?
Wednesday August 06,
2014
Tags create itself, execute, executives, obliviousness, strategy, succeed, meeting, emplyees, discussion, business
Transcript
CEO: We can only succeed if we execute. Wally: How is that different from saying we can only succeed if we succeed. CEO: There's also the strategy. Wally: Does the strategy create itself?
Monday August 25,
2014
Tags died years ago, exoskeleton project, inventions, obliviousness, taking bones
Transcript
Boss: This is Barry. He has been working on our exoskeleton project for five years. Dilbert: Evidently Barry died years ago, and his exoskeleton keeps taking his bones to meetings. Boss: In my defense, that is only obvious after you say it.
Thursday September 18,
2014
Tags emotional manipulation, executives, financial gain, leader, leaders, less unlikable, lonely job, manipulation, obliviousness, popularity
Transcript
CEO: Being a leader is a lonely job. Dilbert: Try being less of a #!@*. Then people might want to spend time with you. CEO: I don't see how that could work. Dilbert: Can we get back to manipulating my emotions for financial gain?
Friday October 10,
2014
Tags boss, insult, insults, lists, managers, obliviousness, five signs, bad boss, forwarded link, 70 people
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you see the article on the Internet about the five signs you might be a bad boss? Boss: Yeah. About seventy people forwarded it to me. Dilbert: That was number three on the list. Boss: I didn't read it. Dilbert: That was number one.
Sunday October 12,
2014
Tags budgets, deadlines, logic, obliviousness, projects, reasoning, software upgrade, rolled out, estimated finish date, same way, failure, on budget
Transcript
Coworker: The software upgrade will be written and rolled out in three months. Dilbert: Has any project of this complexity ever been completed by the estimated finish date? Coworker: Not yet. We're confident we'll be the first. Dilbert: Is that because you're doing things differently from all of those who went before and failed? Coworker: No. We're doing things exactly the same way as the people who failed. Dilbert: Do you see what I'm getting at? Coworker: No, not really. And we expect to be on budget. Wally: Snork!
Thursday October 16,
2014
Tags insult, insulting, insults, obliviousness, robot, filling in, vacation, soul less creature, questionable intelligence
Transcript
Boss: Our robot will be sitting in for me while I'm on vacation. I hope you can get used to taking orders from a soulless creature of questionable intelligence. Wally: I think I can do that. Boss: That's the spirit!
Sunday November 02,
2014
Tags obliviousness, time management, touch, touching, touching paper, turn off phone, ignore email, one touch, salad tongs, on etouch, interupted
Transcript
Boss: The key to good time management is touching each piece of paper once. If I can only touch it once, I'd better do it right. I'll need to make sure I don't get interrupted after the first touch.Turn off my phone, close my door, and ignore email. Okay, here goes one touch. Ugh. This will take an hour and I only have ten minutes. Make a copy, throw away the original, and don't let me touch the copy until I have an hour in my schedule. I wonder if I'm allowed to use salad tongs.


