One Year Project Comic Strips - Page 4
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Dilbert says, "They were rude to me at the bank again, Dogbert." Dilbert points to the door and says, "I've had enough . . . Sic 'em, boy!!" Dogbert walks into the bank. Dogbert tells a woman, "Hi. I'm David Packard; billionaire founder of Hewlett-Packard." Dogbert sits at the woman's desk and continues, ". . . And I'd like to put all of my money into one of your non-interest bearing accounts." The woman replies, "You're not David Packard. You're just a dreadful little dog with glasses." The woman says, "Then again . . . I've never seen a picture of David Packard . . . I'd better open the account." Dogbert says, "Very good. Now give me fifty push-ups or I'll take my business elsewhere."
Dilbert walks down a hallway thinking, "Uh oh . . . Double doors. One side is always locked and I make a fool of myself trying to open it." Dilbert thinks, "Which side is it? Left? Right? People are watching. Think, think . . ." Dilbert arrives at home looking dirty and disheveled. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That's when I noticed that the ventilation ducts were big enough for a human to crawl through." Dogbert says, "Too bad they didn't lead to outside."
Dilbert stands in the kitchen and Dogbert stands in the doorway holding a slingshot. Dilbert reaches for a box of donuts and thinks, "Maybe just one donut before bed." Dogbert thinks, "He takes the bait." Dilbert looks surprised as the donut is shot out of his hand. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Didn't I ask you to stop playing 'Wild Kingdom' in the house?" Dogbert thinks, "Now angered, the engineer turns to charge."
The caption says, "Dogbert plays a reckless prank with Dilbert's prototype 'hot line' to the Kremlin." Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the telephone, "Hey Gorby, did you hear this quote . . ." Dogbert quotes, "Communism is the most painful path between capitalism and capitalism." Dogbert says, "'Fire one?' Ha ha ha . . . What a kidder you are."
Dilbert, whose arm is in a sling, says to Dogbert, "I got hit by a rented car." Dogbert asks, "Hertz?" Dilbert replies, "Not any more, but thanks for asking." Dogbert says as he walks away, "That's about all the sympathy I can muster for one day."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Oh, sure, Dan Quayle may be Vice President of the United States . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . But he still puts his pants on one leg at a time." Dan Quayle sits on his bed with his arms through one of his pant legs. Marilyn Quayle covers her eyes and thinks, "Oh, Lord, not this again . . ."
Dogbert sits in the chair and Dilbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert asks, "Can't I talk you out of becoming a substitute teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I won't damage the little tykes." The caption says, "Day one." Dogbert stands in front of a blackboard and says, "Good morning, children. I'm Mr. Dogbert." A student asks, "Are you flammable?"
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And women have always played hard to get . . ." The caption says, "Dilbert and Eve." Dilbert and Eve stand behind a bush. Dilbert asks, "Then how about a date next year?" Eve replies, "I'd love to, but I don't have a thing to wear." Both of them are naked.
Dilbert sits on an examining table in a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Normally I'd give you six months to live." The physician continues, "But we're having a '50% off sale' today, so I'll give you a full year for the same price." Dilbert lies back on the table. The doctor says, "And you get an extra ten days if you pay cash!"
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And the doctor gave me just a year to live." Dilbert continues, "I'm sorry, little guy . . . I don't know how you'll manage without me." Dogbert asks, "Would it be too much trouble to paint the house before you go?"