Pantless Weasel Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for pantless weasel comic strips. Discover the best "Pantless Weasel" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #impossible assignment, #right place, #reword, #objectives, #match, #analyzed, #feasibility, #project, #discontinue

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Dilbert is home in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "Can you help me weasel out of an impossible assignment?" Dogbert replies, "You came to the right place." Dogbert continues, "Gradually reword the objectives of the project until one day they match what you've already done." Headline: Six Months Later. Dilbert says to The Boss, "I successfully analyzed the feasibility of discontinuing the project." The Boss responds, "Success!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #investment baker, #hired wesel, #media questions, #stock holders, #good for stcokholders, #parking lot

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Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert introduces a weasel to The Boss, "I hired a weasel to teach you how to answer media questions." The weasel says, "No matter what the reporters ask, always give the same answer 'It will be good for stockholders.'" The Boss is answering media questions. A reporter asks, "Is it true that you ran over a stockholder in the parking lot?" The Boss responds, "It'll be good for him."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #epic year, #unethical behavior, #rebarnding, #hired dogcart consulting, #small improvements, #rename company, #stinking weasel, #slogan, #steal, #rob, #corruption, #hiring pirate, #diseased parrot

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Thanks to an epic year of unethical behavior..." The Boss continues, "We need to do some rebranding so that no one knows who we are." The Boss points to Dogbert and continues, "I hired the Dogbert Consulting Company to help." Dogbert says, "You can't fix your image all at once. I recommend starting with small improvements." Dogbert continues, "First, rename the company to Stinkingweasels Inc." Dogbert continues, "The new slogan will be 'We steal in ways you've never even heard of.'" Dogbert turns to The Boss and says, "For your spokesperson, I recommend hiring a pirate with a diseased parrot." The Boss is holding a bag of money. He says to the pirate, "No?" The pirate responds, "We have standards."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #cubicle, #grim reeper, #layoffs, #stranger, #business

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Human Resources is sending a designated firer to do layoffs." The Boss turns quickly and waves his hands in an employee's face. The Boss says, "If a stranger approaches your cubicle, it means you're toast!" The employee exclaims, "Gaaa!!!" A hooded weasel with a knife approaches Carol. He says, "Hell-o-o-o, Carol." He pauses and then continues, "Can you tell me where Ted sits?" Carol exclaims, "Gaaa!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weasel of layoffs, #experience, #histiate, #defects, #list of defects

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The hooded weasel approaches Ted's desk and says, "Hell-o-o-o Ted. I'm the weasel of layoffs." The weasel of layoffs continues, "If there's any way I can make this experience more humiliating, don't hesitate to ask." Ted exclaims, "Why, why me??!!" The weasel responds. "I'll tape a list of defects to your old chair."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bankrupt, #company, #sing along, #weasel dance, #business

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch reading a book. Dogbert approaches and says, "I sold my stock and made billions before driving my company into bankruptcy." Dogbert dances and says, "Now I do the Weasel Dance." Hoo-ah! Yee-ha! Woo- woo-woo!" Dogbert stops and asks, "Would it kill you to clap and sing along?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health benefits, #itch, #mood altering, #stinking weasel, #skin rash, #drugs

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "I'm taking a mood-altering prescription drug to treat a skin rash." Dilbert continues, "I still itch, but I don't care. In fact, I don't even think you're a huge, stinkin' weasel." Dilbert points to The Boss with both hands and exclaims, "I love you! You da man!" The Boss replies, "Remind me to cancel your health benefits."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brainstorm ideas, #employee morale enhancement, #pin the tail, #boss, #employees, #hatred, #low morale, #business

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The Boss says, "Let's brainstorm ideas for 'Employee Morale-Enhancement Day." Alice says, "We could play pin the tail on the pointy-haired weasel whose breath smells like feet." The Boss says to Catbert, "We might need more morale-enhancement days." Catbert replies, "How about this weekend when I'm not here?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #price quote, #every expense, #alice side agreement, #hidden costs, #customer punch vendor, #freaking weasel

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"As you requested, this price quote includes absolutely every expense you'll incur!" "If that's true, you won't mind signing the 'Alice Side Agreement." "'In the event of hidden costs, customer will repeatedly punch vendor while telling 'you freaking weasel!'" "Pen?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alpha and omega, #fleer, #flout, #gibe, #indispensable greatness, #jeer, #mock, #no pants, #scoff, #sneer, #technical problem, #pantless prima donna

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"The prima donna" "Behold my indispensable greatness! No technical problem can thwart me!" "I wear no pants, as proof that I am above the rules. I am the alpha and the omega!" "Would you like to see a scoff, jeer, gibe, mock, sneer, fleer or flout?" "Fleer, I guess."