Phone Sex Place Comic Strips - Page 4

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586 Results for Phone Sex Place

View 31 - 40 results for phone sex place comic strips. Discover the best "Phone Sex Place" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #energy, #electricity, #ring, #rechargeable, #battery, #throwing, #burned

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The strip is titled, "How to get free energy." Dilbert faces the reader and says, "The world is full of free energy, if you know where to look." Dilbert continues, "For example, the phone company sends extra electricity to make your phone ring." Dilbert connects a telephone to a large battery. He continues, "You can plug your phone line into a rechargeable battery . . ." Dilbert continues, "Then give suckers a reason to call." Dilbert hangs a poster on a telephone pole. The sign says, "Free money? Call." Dilbert stands in front of a full mailbox. He asks, "And what about junk mail? Are you just throwing it away?" Dilbert asks, "Do you know it can be burned to heat your house?" Dilbert shovels junk mail into a furnace. Dilbert stands at a table and says, "New week I'll tell you how to get electricity from your houseguests." A box of sneezing pepper and a fan connected to a battery sit on the table.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #women's guide to avoiding dilbert, #groups, #dissect, #Men, #boyfriend, #sentence, #ladies', #night, #tipped, #Number, #knows, #love, #romance, #ating

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The strip is titled, "Women's guide to avoiding Dilbert." The caption says, "Wear stereo headphones, look straight ahead and outrun him." Dilbert chases a jogger asking, "What's your name?" The woman ignores him. The caption says, "Comb your hair over your face to avoid accidental eye contact." Dilbert waves his hands at a woman but her hair covers her eyes. The caption says, "Travel in groups and make it clear you will dissect any man." A woman tells three other women, "I've noticed that all men have B.O. (body odor)." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The caption says, "Drive to and from secret destinations in fast cars." Dilbert watches a woman drive by in a sports car. He thinks, "I wonder where she lives?" The caption says, "Mention a boyfriend in every sentence." Dilbert says, "Nice weather." The woman replies, "My boyfriend likes weather." The caption says, "Never attend a ladies' night activity." Dilbert stands in a bar with three other men. He thinks, "No women . . . I wonder what tipped them off." The caption says, "Never give out your real phone number." Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "This only has three digits." The woman says, "Everybody knows me there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #exploring, #clyde, #canyon, #trail, #end, #week, #Dogbert, #hole, #vacation, #hiking

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Dogbert and Dilbert, who is wearing a backpack and holding a hiking stick, walk past a sign that says, "Clyde Canyon Trail." Dilbert says, "Ah . . . A full week of hiking and exploring." Dilbert and Dogbert arrive at the canyon which is a small hole in the ground. Dilbert stands in the hole and says, "We're gonna be pretty tired of this place by the end of the week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #cbs, #news, #press, #converence, #announce, #anti-gravity, #discovery, #suntan, #lotion, #science, #report, #interview, #string, #bikini

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Dilbert floats through the house with a propeller strapped to his back. He says into the phone, "CBS News? Yes, I'd like to call a press conference to announce my anti-gravity discovery . . ." Dilbert says into the telephone, "Science isn't news?! But you did that investigative report on suntan lotion last year . . ." Dilbert says, "No, I don't think I could do the interview in a string bikini."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #news, #discovered, #anti-gravity, #formula, #newsworthy, #weight, #exercising, #misleading, #unethical, #marketing

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Dilbert floats in mid-air with a propeller attached to his back. He says into the phone, "Hello, ABC News? I've discovered an anti-gravity formula." Dilbert continues, "What?! It's not newsworthy?!" Dogbert says, "Tell him it lets you lose weight without exercising." Dilbert covers the telephone receiver and asks, "Isn't that misleading and unethical?" Dogbert replies, "There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #dollars, #inventing, #secret, #better, #classify, #send, #space, #stuff, #kill, #smoking, #drugs, #open-minded

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The strip is titled, "Dogbert's guide to your tax dollars." A vacuum cleaner sucks up dollar bills. Dogbert says, "Did you ever wonder how all that tax money gets spent? Roll the tape." The caption says, "Inventing secret things." Two scientists look at a device. One of them says, "It doesn't look like much, but it'll smart like crazy if you sit on it." The caption says, "Sending secret things into space." The other scientist says, "Maybe we'd better classify it secret and send it into space with the other stuff." The caption says, "Education." A teacher says, "Sex will kill you, food will kill you, smoking will kill you, alcohol will kill you, drugs will kill you . . ." The children sitting at their school desks look frightened. The caption says, "Art grants for things you aren't open-minded enough to appreciate." Dilbert looks at a shoe sitting on a pedestal. The artist says, "I call it 'The Bug I Hated.'" The caption says, "Advanced health care." Two doctors stand next to a bed where a skeleton lies. One physician says, "You were right, Benson. X-rays and microwaves are not the same thing." The caption says, "Paying Congress." A senator says, "Our raises came through!" Another says, "I think I'll send myself a thank-you note!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #half, #chicken, #ninety-six, #afford, #place, #oven, #mitten, #cheapskate, #insensitve, #first date, #mittens

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The caption says, "First date." Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant looking at menus. Dilbert asks the waiter, "How much is the half chicken?" The waiter replies, "Ninety-six dollars." Dilbert looks at the menu and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I can't afford this place." Dilbert asks, "How much is one-eighth of a chicken?" The waiter replies, "Ninety-two dollars." Dilbert asks, "What can I get for thirty bucks?" The waiter replies, "We could slap you with an oven mitten." The woman says, "I can't believe what a cheap-skate you are." The woman continues, "My mother was right: all men are insensitive!" Dilbert hands the menu to the waiter and says, "Two oven mittens." The waiter says to the woman, "So, it looks like you'll be free later . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #the boss, #consultant, #clarify, #company, #policy, #discrimination, #unpopular, #religions, #short, #bald, #fat, #handicapped

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The Boss tells Dilbert and several co-workers, "I've hired a consultant to clarify our company policy on discrimination." Dogbert says, "It is against policy to discriminate based on race, sex, age, handicap or religion." A man raises his hand and asks, "Does that include unpopular, little religions?" Dogbert replies, "No, those are considered cults; you may discriminate freely against them." A woman raises her hand and asks, "What about short, bald, fat, ugly men? Are they considered 'handicapped'?" Dogbert replies, "Technically, no. You can still tease them and deny them promotions as usual." Dogbert continues, "Likewise, you may discriminate against nerds, smokers, and single people." Dogbert continues, "And we've dropped 'stupid people' from the watch list, as their lobbying efforts proved ineffective . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #comedy, #competition, #first, #joke, #old people, #dragged, #stage, #third place

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How did you do in the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert's clothes are tattered and he has bruises on his face. Dilbert replies, "I was halfway through my first joke -- about old people, when an elderly woman dragged me off stage and slapped the bejeezus out of me." Dilbert holds up a trophy and says, ". . . It was good enough for third place."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #pop, #psychologist, #lecture, #video, #makeover, #pop culture, #madonna

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Dogbert sits across from a desk and says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist. I need your help to make my lecture video." A man in sunglasses replies, "You came to the right place, babe. First, you need a new look." Dogbert is wearing a pony tail of false hair and a pointed brassiere. Dogbert says, "Nice try, but frankly, this look didn't work too well for Madonna either."