Pile Of Crud Comic Strips - Page 4
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Alice stands at Carol's desk. Alice hair is a mess and she holds a report. Alice says, "I stayed awake for two days straight to finish this R.F.Q. by the deadline." Alice says, "But it will all be for nothing if you don't send it out today." Alice hands the folder to Carol. Carol puts the folder in the middle of a huge pile of papers on her desk and says, "I'll put it in the middle of the stack so I won't forget."
The boss sits at his desk with a huge pile of papers in front of him. The boss thinks, "This one has been on my desk for a month it's critical." The boss thinks, "I'll stick it back in the pile and see if that helps." The boss thinks, "Yes, I feel better already."
Dilbert stands in front of a conference room. A man's cell phone rings and he says, "Continue with your presentation while I take this quick call." Dilbert says, "Go ahead and ignore me, you vice presidential pile of stinkin' monkey.." The man says, "Okay, bye." Dilbert says, "Crapital spending." The man says, "Look how small my phone is."
Asok says, to the boss, "I've finished all my objectives for the rest of the year." Asok says, "What happens now? Do you double my salary, or do I take the rest of the year off?" Asok carries a huge pile of papers down the hall, Asok says , to Wally, "You were wrong Wally: there is harm in asking." Wally says, "ooops."
Dilbert stands at the boss' desk. The boss says, "e-mail two copies to me when you're done." Dilbert says, "Two copies? It's e0mail." The boss says, "So?" Dilbert says, "Never mind. I'll e-mail two copies." The boss says, "and fax a copy in green paper for my files." Dilbert says, "Green? It's a fax!" The boss walks Dilbert out of his office and says, "And bring me a hard copy of the internet so I can do some serious surfing." Dilbert begins to faint in the doorway. Dilbert thinks, "Motivation.... gonve.. losing consciousness.." Dilber joins the pile of passed out employess by the boss' door. The boss thinks, "How did I end up with all the lazy employees?"
Caption: "Juan Delegator" The Boss carries a large pile of paper. Juan hands him another piece and says, "..And this also requires your decision before I can work on it." Juan says, "Do you have any more assignments for me that I can turn into work for you?" The boss says, "No." Juan says, "And have you learned your lesson?" The boss says, "Yes: Give all work to Alice."
Dilbert and the future Dilbert are at the Boss's office. Dilbert tells the Boss: "A future me built a time machine and came to help on my project." The future Dilbert tells the Boss: "Hello, you miserable pile of solid sewerage." The future Dilbert turns to Dilbert and says: "You always got bad assignments after today."
Wally approaches the Boss sitting at his desk reading the paper. Wally says, "My stock options are worth a fortune now, you miserable bag of crud!" The Boss types something in his computer and says, "Oh, look, they're back down to worthless." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit eating lunch. Dilbert says, "Try telling him that bags of crud are highly valued in some societies." Wally says, "Shut up."
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We outsourced our sales and fulfillment functions to an Elbonian company." Wally looks at Dilbert as Dilbert asks, "Um... Are you sure that's the best way to sell complex technology?" Three Elbonians and a pig each are holding a tin can with string to their ears. One Elbonian says, "Could you call back? We have a bad string."
Two Elbonians each have a tin can with string held up to their ears. One Elbonian says, "This is the Elbonian Fulfillment Service. How may I thwart you?" The Elbonians continue listening to their tin cans. One Elbonian hears, "Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt." The Elbonian holds his tin can away from his ear and says to the pig, "Okay, it wasn't funny the first 300 times either."