Safe Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

45 Results for Safe

View 31 - 40 results for safe comic strips. Discover the best "Safe" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #ceo needs underling, #drink industrial sludge, #risk of brain worms, #drink himself

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO needs an underling to drink our industrial sludge at a press conference to prove it's safe. Asok: Um... is there some reason he doesn't do it himself? Boss: Yes, but I forget the details. It was something about the risk of brain worms.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #public speaking, #spit take, #industrial sludge, #intern will drink

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #discrimination, #Women, #containment unit, #steel vault, #Men, #co workers, #job, #condesending, #freak out, #death, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Settle down, honey. I didn't ask for your opinion. I'm telling you what we're going to do. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Lower the containment unit! She's going to blow. CEO: When will it be safe? Dilbert: Right after you die.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #management jargon, #engage employees, #follow from front, #anything, #tell people, #fake caring situation, #fake passion, #uncle died, #combine both

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's the newest management jargon I need to pretend you understand? Catbert: Experts say you should engage employees and follow from the front. Boss: Does that mean anything? Catbert: No one know. Just to be safe, you should tell people you're doing it. Boss: Should I act as if I'm passionate, or is this more of a fake caring situation? Catbert: Beats me. Try combining the two. Boss: Fake passion plus fake caring. Asok: My uncle died. Boss: Woot!!! What was his name?!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #efficiency experts, #medicines, #more motivated, #competetive, #safe and natural, #side effects, #psychopathy, #improved dating life, #needle, #injection

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I found a quick way to make you more motivated and competitive. I know it's safe because it's all natural. The only known side effects are psychopathy and an improved dating life.

The One Out Of Ten Guy

Thank you for voting.
The One Out Of Ten Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #bad logic, #knowledge, #logic, #statistics, #studies, #problem, #department

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: You know how studies always say one out of ten people have a particular problem. I'm always that guy. Statistically speaking, I keep nine people safe just by existing. Dilbert: That's not how statistics work. Coworker: And... everyone else in the department knows that?

Wally's Many Patents

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Many Patents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #accomplishments, #deception, #work ethic, #patent, #inventions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: On your list of accomplishments, you say you filed seventeen patents for the company this month. Wally: I did. Here's the documentation on each of them. Boss: Hmm... it will be three years before I know if these are accepted. Wally: Until then, let's play it safe and assume I'm awesome.

Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation

Thank you for voting.
Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #invention, #inventions, #design, #complication, #overthinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I asked the other engineers to help me develop my double-handed coffee mug invention. Now it is bloated with useless features and not dishwasher safe. Maybe you should cancel the project. Boss: Are you okay with that? Wally: I've never been a big fan of the implementation phase.

Mandatory Safety Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Mandatory Safety Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #safety, #catch-22, #choosing, #unsafe

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You have to go to a mandatory safety training class right now. Dilbert: Is it safe for me to miss the deadline you gave me for this assignment? Boss: No, you lose either way. Dilbert: Hmm. Maybe I could work all night from home then drive to work exhausted.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #time machine, #time travel, #experiment, #algorithm, #planning, #mistake, #error, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.