Saved Emails Comic Strips - Page 4
63 Results for Saved Emails
View 31 - 40 results for saved emails comic strips. Discover the best "Saved Emails" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 09, 2007's comic on:
The boss: "Cancel all of my meetings. I'm going to manage by making spreadsheets and sending e-mails." "With any luck, I'll never again need to speak with unimportant subordinates such as yourself." "C23 is in a bad mood today." "@#$%^!"
Share August 26, 2007's comic on:
The boss: "I can't give you a raise because you ask me too many questions." "That's a sign that you can't do your job." Dilbert: "I anticipated your misperception and prepared for it." "I saved all of my e-mails and matched them to your policies and procedures." "For example, this is your e-mail saying we need your permission to buy software." "And here's my e-mail asking if I can buy some software." "Should I run through the other seven hundred documented examples?" The Boss: "There you go asking another question."
Share September 09, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "I saved a fortune by personally negotiating the contract for our new ERP system." Dilbert says, "You bought outdated hardware and forgot several components that are required." Dilbert says, "And I like software with my hardware, but that's just me."
Share December 01, 2008's comic on:
The boss: We were saved from the abyss by a last minute injection of capital from an overseas investor. They're some sort of cartel. We weren't in a position to ask a lot of questions. They want each of you to fly to Colombia and bring back a package... and you can't use your hands.
Share June 26, 2009's comic on:
Ted says, "I can?t afford my mortgage because of my pay cut. The bank will take the house." Asok says, "I saved a bundle by being a renter. I should buy your house for next to nothing." Asok says, "Too soon?"
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Share August 22, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "The status of my project is that apparently I died and became a ghost." Dilbert says, "I don?t remember dying, but the evidence of my untimely demise is clear." Dilbert says, "In the past week, no one has returned my phone calls or replied to my emails." Dilbert says, "When I try to print a document, I get nothing but error messages." Dilbert says, "Now all of you are looking at your phones and reading materials as if no one is speaking to you." Dilbert says, "I will now test my ghost theory by running through a living person." Dilbert says, "BOOOO!!!" Dilbert says, "Good news. I'm alive but unworthy of attention." Dogbert says, "I'm trying to watch a show."
Share November 12, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "You're two hours late." Wally says, "I was doing e-mail in the parking lot." Wally says, "I like to bang out a few hours of work before some idiot starts asking me dumb questions." Wally says, "It would be funny if the next thing you say is in the form of a question."
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The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to train the new mailroom guy." Wally says, "Why me?" The Boss says, "Because he's unimportant and you're worthless." Wally says, "Okay, I was worried that it was the other way around." Wally says, "All important messages are sent by e-mail." Wally says, "So your job is to shovel all of the regular mail into recycling bins." Wally says, "We won't be paying you, but you can use packages and tape to build your own igloo." Two weeks later The Boss says, "Why is my desk so clean?" Wally says, "You're welcome."
Share December 29, 2010's comic on:
Alice says, "I've noticed that whenever I ask you a specific question by email, you avoid answering it." Alice says, "You're either an unhelpful moron or a poorly designed robot sent from the future to terminate our company." Dilbert says, "How did you know it was a robot?" Alice says, "I didn't."