Security Department Comic Strips - Page 4

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326 Results for Security Department

View 31 - 40 results for security department comic strips. Discover the best "Security Department" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #job security, #psychic

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Dogbert, who is wearing a sorcerer's hat, tells the Boss, "I'll use my powers to read the minds of your employees and get ideas for improving morale." Dogbert says, "Hmm . . . All they care about is romance, ski trips and 'Star Trek.'" The Boss asks, "How about if we give the high performers little key chains with the company logo?" Dogbert says, "I'm getting a blank from this direction."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #garbageman, #security guard, #stealing

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A security guard says, "Have a nice night, Dilbert." The guard continues, "You can rest easy knowing I'll be guarding the building all night." The security guard continues, "To a criminal, this place must look like a big ol' shopping mall." The guard continues, "The cubicles are like little stores, each with it's own selection of quality merchandise." The guard continues, "If you knew where to look, you could get picture frames, postage stamps, clocks, and even footwear." Dilbert replies, "Oddly enough, you and the janitor are the only ones here at night, and yet my snack drawer keeps getting emptied." The security guard looks guilty and says, "It's totally inexplicable. Well, good night." The janitor asks the guard, "Shall we head over to 'Chez Dilbert'?" The security guard replies, "Later . . . There's a sale at 'Wally's Shoe World.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #karoshi, #Wally, #Dilbert, #the boss, #business meeting, #japanese, #worklife balance

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The Boos, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called karoshi." The Boss continues, "I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department." The Boss continues, "The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #stealing, #Dilbert, #phil, #accounting, #break, #lunch, #office

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Phil the Ruler of Heck leads Dilbert into the elevator by his tie. Dilbert asks, "What's the penalty for stealing a chair??" Phil replies, "You are sentenced to sit in the break room used by the accounting department." Dilbert sits at a table with two men. One man says, "I like to type the number six." The other looks into his paper bag and says, "Cripes! This is my Tuesday lunch bag."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #small group, #young, #Funny, #single people, #socialize, #romances, #ski trips

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Tina: "Dilbert, I'm forming a small clique of all the young, funny, single people in the department." "We'll have drinks during lunch, talk about ski trips, and have romances within the group." Dilbert: "Please...just shoot me now." Tina: "No, no...we need you to do our work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bugs, #bugs are smater, #cubcicle, #dumb, #permission denied, #plastic, #plastic plant, #tell the difference

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Dilbert: Id like permission to keep a plastic plant in my crucible, Security guard: Permission denied! Plants attract bugs. If I can't tell its plastic how are the bugs going to know the difference? Dilbert: With all due respect m bugs are way smarter than you. Security: Oh yeah? Id like to see them do this job.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #customers, #marketing, #technical, #feasible, #business

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Dilbert: we in engineering think of the marketing department as our customer, Fred. FRED: Thats great. Id like you to do a technical feasibility study for me. Wally: would that require any work? I said "customer" not boss.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #budget analyst, #budget cuts, #intelligent choices, #understand enginering, #strategy

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The Boss: Susan, I want you to make some budget cuts throughout my department. Susan: But Im only the budget analyst. I couldn't understand all the engineering projects enough to make intelligent choices. The Boss: Really? Great! I thought it was just me! Susan: Shall I whomp up a strategy while Im at it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #projects floundering, #bold strategy, #reorganize, #department, #last month, #bold

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The Boss: All of our projects are floundering. I decided on a bold new strategy. Dilbert: Let me guess You're going to randomly reorganize the department.... Dilbert: Just like last month. The Boss: you have to admit thats bold.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #blind ambition, #chips & dips, #food services, #new name, #procurement, #the unled, #new department

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The Boss: We'll need a name for the newly reorganized department. The name should reflect how Ive seamlessly integrated engineering with food services and procurement. Dilbert: How about "chips and dips"? Wally: "Blind Ambition" Man: " The unled"