Sitting Comic Strips - Page 4

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457 Results for Sitting

View 31 - 40 results for sitting comic strips. Discover the best "Sitting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, photo, proof, completed, hit-man, contract, Dilbert, sitting, lifeless, stuffed, chair, looks, watching, technically, kill, prove, life

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Dogbert hands a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "Here is photo proof that I completed my hit-man contract on Dilbert." The man replies, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Here he is, sitting lifeless in his stuffed chair." The man looks at the picture and says, "It looks like he's just watching television." Dogbert says, "Technically, my contract doesn't say I must kill him. It says I must 'prove he has no life.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, driving school, student, driver, stereo, signal, car, phone, defrost, window, fishing, driving, simulator, test, drive

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Dogbert and a boy sit in a car with a "Student Driver" sign on the roof. Dogbert says, "With your right hand, insert a CD into the stereo . . . Good." Dogbert continues, "Now signal left! Answer the car phone! Defrost the rear window! Honk is you love fishing!" The student panics and tosses the phone into the air. Dogbert says, "Fortunately, we're only in the driving simulator." The car is sitting in a dealership showroom. A salesman approaches the car and asks, "Do you boys want to take it for a test drive?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, Dogbert, dysfunctional, family member, rat, rob, convenience, store

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs reading a book. Ratbert, who is sitting on the hassock, says, "I was wondering if we're a dysfunctional family." Dilbert replies, "You're not a family member. You're a rat who won't go away." Ratbert says, "Suddenly I have the urge to rob a convenience store."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, eliminated, tedious, consuming, process, computer

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Dilbert shows the Boss new computer hardware and tells him, "For only twenty-five thousand dollars I've eliminated many tedious and time-consuming processes." The Boss asks, "What would be an example of one of those tedious and time-consuming processes?" Dilbert replies, "Well, there was the process of sitting around and wishing I had more computer stuff . . ." The Boss thinks, "Next time don't ask."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, man, woman, zombies, office, business-plan

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Dogbert says to the seminar participants, "As a zombie, you must speak in empty generalities." Dogbert continues, "Your business plan might say 'We strive to utilize a variety of techniques to accomplish a broad spectrum of results toward the bottom line.'" A man says, "Hey! My skin is getting clammy and I have the urge to call a meeting!" The man sitting next to him says, "Me too!" Dogbert says, "Good . . . Good . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, troll, cave, bureaucracy, computer, business

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Dilbert enters a cave. A door above the sign says "Bureaucracy." Dilbert tells a troll sitting at a desk, "I need to buy an upgrade for my computer." The troll growls. The troll replies, "First, you must write a business case and get five signatures." Another troll jumps onto Dilbert's back. The troll sitting at the desk continues, "Get bids from nine vendors." Another troll approaches Dilbert. The troll continues, "All vendors must be approved by a vote of the vendor approval committee." The troll lists, ". . . Purchase order . . . Budget transfer . . . Legal review . . . Accounting classification . . . Inventory . . ." Several trolls cling to Dilbert's body. The troll explains, "These steps are necessary to prevent employees from doing something uneconomical." Dilbert arrives at home with several trolls clinging to his body. Dogbert asks, ". . . So you suggested a process 'quality audit'?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah, that's the one clinging to my buttocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design interface, got out, hired professional, international terrorist, last week, went to yale, new employee, talks with dilbert

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a professional to help us design our product interface." The Boss continues, "His last job was as an international terrorist. It's not a perfect fit but he went to Yale." Dilbert sits at a table and says to the man sitting with him, "So, I hear you went to Yale, Sven." Sven answers, "I yust got out last week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags performance review, years of rejection, general disdain, simian, perfromance

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Alice tells Wally and Dilbert, "I'm terrified about my performance review tomorrow." Alice continues, "Men have it easier. You've been conditioned by years of rejection and general disdain." Wally responds, "We're lucky that way." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document to a male worker sitting across from him. The Boss says, "Overall, I rated your performance as 'simian.'" The worker responds, "Thanks!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decide to buy, recommend position

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with the Boss and Dogbert. Dogbert says, "I promise that if I decide to buy your company I'll gladly recommend a position for each of you." Wally, who is also sitting at the table, asks, "Really? You'd make sure we all got jobs?" Dogbert answers, "No, but I'll recommend a 'position.'" Dilbert and the Boss look shocked.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags own company, Dogbert, trim middle management, fire anyone, fyi on documents, fyi files in barrel

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Dilbert and Wally stand in front of Dogbert who is sitting at a desk. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own the company, what do you plan to do?" Dogbert answers, "Trim middle management." Dogbert continues, "I'll fire anybody who gives me a document marked 'FYI.' Those people have too much time on their hands." A manager carrying a wheelbarrow full of documents marked "FYI" asks Dilbert and Wally, "Are you sure this will set me apart from the other managers?" Wally replies, "You'll be surprised how quickly."