Slow Learner Comic Strips - Page 4

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58 Results for Slow Learner

View 31 - 40 results for slow learner comic strips. Discover the best "Slow Learner" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired sadits, #thin th herd, #looks slow

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The Boss: I hired a sadist. Dilbert: Why? Th boss: I'll be using you her to thin the heard. Dilbert: Herd? Sadist: That one looks slow. The Boss: That all look like that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestions, #marble sized brain, #twice as smooth, #root cause, #mating for generations

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"What didn't you use any of my suggestions?" Dilbert: "My thoery is that your brain is the size of a marble, and twice as smooth." "The root cause probably involves slow learners mating for many generations."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #stealing, #excuse

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Dilbert says, "It's slow at work so I created my own internet business called Dilbertfiles.com woman says, "So you're stealing company resources?" Dilbert says, "I call myself a CEO." woman says, "I think I saw someone who isn't a miscreant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layoffs, #fired, #surprised, #mean, #cruel, #reading

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the boss says, "Ted, business is slow, and I have to let you go." The boss says, "But I already did your performance review so I thought you might benefit from constructive feedback." Ted says, "'You're like a blister on a skunk's colon.'" The boss says, "A tiny one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #assignment, #partner, #annoyed, #calling, #human resources, #frustrated, #angry, #offended, #business

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the Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with Ted on this project." Alice says, "Ted's a drama queen. Working with him will just slow me down." Ted says, "Hello? Human resources? Alice is being a bully." Alice says, "And so it begins."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #powerpoint, #waste time, #slow motion, #read, #project emu, #tie, #pull, #yank, #strangle, #business

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Man says, "I could've e-mailed you my powerpoint deck, and you could have read it in five minutes." Man says, "But I prefer making you sit here for an hour while I read each bullet point in slow motion." Man says, "P-o-i-n-t n-u-m-b-e-r o-n-e?" Wally says, "Yank this as hard as you can."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #question, #smartphone, #internet browser, #slow, #old, #wrinkly, #dead, #google, #business

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The Boss says, "I can research that question with my phone's browser." MUCH TIME PASSES The Boss says, "I found the Google!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #angry, #annoyed, #memory, #coworker, #violence, #slam face on smartphone, #front of mind

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Alice says, "You didn't answer my e-mail." Coworker says, "I don't check e-mail often." Alice says, "The whole point of e-mail is that you check it often." Alice says, "Are you an idiot or some sort of digital sociopath?" Coworker says, "Sometimes I don't remember to check it." Alice says, "You seem like a visual learner, so let me show you how to keep e-mail in the front of your mind." Alice says, "Is this your smartphone?" Coworker says, "Yes." BAM! Alice says, "Now it's in the front of your mind. Get it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #laziness, #project budget, #new technology, #slow learner, #expensive

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Woman says, "You used the entire engineering portion of my project budget just learning the new technology." Wally says, "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you." Wally says, "Some say I'm a slow learner, but I like to think of myself as expensive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #fast date, #technologically, #incompatible, #internet connection, #slow connection, #4g service, #relationships

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Dogbert: That was a fast date. Dilbert: We were technologically incompatible. Her internet connection is slow, and there's no 4G service where she lives. How could I spend my time there? Dogbert: You could just talk. Dilbert: I like to show my sources.