Surprise Comic Strips - Page 4
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Character
47 Results for Surprise
View 31 - 40 results for surprise comic strips. Discover the best "Surprise" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 10,
2010
Tags security consultant, meeting, angry, shake, ears up, surprise, fillings, dentist, id badge, business
Transcript
Dogbert the Security Consultant Dogbert says, "Anyone without an I.D. badge is assumed to be an enemy combatant." Dogbert says, "Pounce on the intruder and shake him until his fillings fall out!" Alice says, "How much did we pay for that advice?" Dogbert says, "It's free. I work for the dentist across the street."
Tuesday November 16,
2010
Tags meetings, question, nonsense, optimize, value stream, surprise, talk, listening
Transcript
Wally says, "Are you leveraging our resources to optimize the client value stream?" Asok says, "What?" Wally says, "I'm just messing with you? Nothing I say in meetings actually means anything." Asok says, "Then why do you talk?" Wally says, "I tried listening once. It was awful."
Monday October 22,
2012
Tags executives, weapons, constructive criticsim, humble intern, eye lasers, stings, surprise, ceo, evil
Transcript
Asok: Would you accept some constructive criticism from a humble intern? CEO: Activating eye lasers! Asok: It stings for a few minutes, and then you surprise yourself with what you can get used to.
Friday October 26,
2012
Tags inventions, robot, telepresence, commute, multitasking, new technology, rough patches, meat bags
Transcript
Asok: Here comes Wally's telepresence robot. Robot: How was your commute, suckers?!!! Ha ha ha ha! I'm multitasking in ways that might surprise you! Dilbert: New technology always has rough patches. Robot: Open that door for me, meat bags!
Monday February 04,
2013
Tags exploitation, surprise, international law, indentured servant, seq, stole an hour
Transcript
Alice: Asok, your meeting stole an hour of my life. According to international law, I may now claim you as my indentured servant. Asok: Wow. That... actually is a law. Alice: Or I'm really good at SEO.
Tuesday September 03,
2013
Sunday October 06,
2013
Tags complaining, obstinacy, peer coaching, trendy, complain, insightful questions, cause problems, respoinsible
Transcript
Alice: Who's up for some peer coaching? Dilbert: What? Alice: It's the latest thing. Dilbert: Then it must be good. Alice: I'll complain about all of my work problems while you sit there and listen. Then you'll ask insightful questions that will cause me to come up with my own solutions. Dilbert: Okay. Have you considered the possibility that you cause all of your own problems by um... being you? Alice: You're terrible at this But that's not surprise because you're terrible at most things. I hope you die badly. Dilbert: Do I ask another insightful question now?
Thursday December 26,
2013
Tags surprise, work ethic, having passion
Transcript
CEO: The key to success is having passion for what you do! Dilbert: You make a good point. I quit. Wally: I'm out of here. Alice: Me, too. CEO: You promised me they wouldn't listen. Boss: It caught me by surprise, too.
Monday April 04,
2016
How To Send The File
Tags brenna thummler, cloud, files, guest artist, options, sharing, technology
Transcript
Ted: Can you send me the file? Dilbert: Do you want it by email, Dropbox, Google Drive, iCloud Drive, Airdrop, or Creative Cloud? Ted: Surprise me. Dilbert: The surprise will be if you find it.
Sunday September 04,
2016
Transcript
Wally: Are these user specifications complete? I ask because any later changes will cause me to miss the deadline. Man: What if I only need a tiny change later? Wally: I'm counting on it. That way I can blame you when I miss the deadline. Man: How do most people handle this situation? Wally: Well, the pessimists know they're doomed, so it's no surprise to them when it happens. Man: What do the optimists do? Wally: They become pessimists.


