Unimportant Project Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

704 Results for Unimportant Project

View 31 - 40 results for unimportant project comic strips. Discover the best "Unimportant Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project dew drop, test report, explodes, beta trial, friendly customers, killed, friendly ones, project ducky

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I agreed to ship Project 'Dewdrop' to some customers for beta testing. Dilbert: Didn't you read my test report? Dewdrop explodes when you plug it in. The Boss: we'll limit the beta trial to friendly customers. Dilbert: we killed all the friendly ones with project ducky.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product, what it does, who would duse it, rest later, plan to sell, psychic

View Transcript

Transcript

"We don't know what the project should do or who would use it." "But if you could tell us what it costs to build it, we'll figure out the rest later." "What year do you plan to sell it?" "What am I - psychic or something??"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project leader, dogcart consulting, shall do bidding, endless variety, expediations, slab of liver, external brain pack, career low

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags important project, marked man, other employees, throw bricks, keep persepctive, suck ups, brick to the head

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I'm putting you in charge of an important project which is fully funded." Dilbert: Ima marked man, The other employees will either try to suck up to me for money or throw bricks at me. Ted: Buddy. Dilbert: The trick is to keep a protective ring of suck ups around at all times. Zip.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags build, meeting, project kick off, project manager, super fast microchips, harder to saboatge, business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Thank you all for coming to the project kick-off meeting." "As project manager I've decided not to tell you the purpose of the project. That way it will be harder for you to sabotage it." "Does it require ny super-fast microchips?" "Good lord, no. Don't build any of those...by Tuesday."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags arch nemesis, ttp, ttp project, join

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Wally would you like to be on my 'TTP' project? Wally: What does 'TTP' stand for? Dilbert: Its short for the TTP Project. Dilbert: I named it myself, So, do you want to join? wally: Id rather be your arch nemesis.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags difficult, cooperate, project success, head is full, birdseed, pants glued, soap carving

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your department has a reputation for being difficult to work with. But I know we can cooperate to make my project a success. Man: Id love yo help but my head is full of birdseed and my pants are glued to this chair. Dilbert: I'll talk to your boss. Man: Good Luck. He's a soap carving.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good inertia, marketing department, project, under funded, uniformed decision, take blame

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: How's your project coming along? Dilbert: Its under-funded and doomed. But Ive got some goof inertia going and Im setting the marketing department up to take the blame. The Boss: I feel like I should be doing something here. Dilbert: Ive got you planned to make an uniformed decision next week.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags change project, actual knowledge, changes, voicemail

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We just had a meeting and decided to change your project substantially." "We didn't invite you to the meeting because things go smoother when nobody has any actual knowledge." Dilbert: "So, what are the changes?" The Boss: "If I remember, I'll leave you a voice mail."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project plan, every resource, task, dependency, road map, two weeks, tasks, two weeks late, dependencies are wrong, estimates, to be determined, ransom numbers, redo whole plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: "Let's spend the next four hours reviewing the project plan." "I've detailed every resource, task and dependency into an exquisitely accurate road map." "It took me two weeks, but it's the only way to make sure we're not wasting time." Alice: "My tasks are two weeks late because I was waiting for your input." Dilbert: "And you left off one task, so all the dependencies are wrong." Wally: "I'm changing all of my estimate to 'to be determined'." Dilbert: "Can we do that? I've just been using random numbers." Man: "I'll have to redo the whole plan." Wally: "Don't worry. We won't do anything until we hear from you."