Valuable Input Comic Strips - Page 4

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110 Results for Valuable Input

View 31 - 40 results for valuable input comic strips. Discover the best "Valuable Input" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #speak about project, #plan, #created input, #arrogant baboon, #slap you, #flashbacks, #honeymoon

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Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Dilbert asked me to speak to you about the project plan you created without his input." Dogbert screams, "It's impossible, you arrogant baboon!!!" Dogbert continues, "Lean over here so I can slap you." The Boss says, "I'm having flashbacks to my honeymoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #life insurance policy, #pay premiums, #collect insurance, #valuable, #company, #don't like cats, #business

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Catbert and Wally sit at a table. Catbert says, "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on you, Wally." Catbert continues, "We pay the premiums and we collect the insurance when you die." Wally looks at the policy and asks, "Is this because I'm so valuable to the company?" Catbert replies, "It's because we think you'll be more valuable dead." Wally says, "This is exactly why I don't like cats."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1997's comic on:


Tags #employee rock climbing seminar, #valuable teamwork, #skills, #rock climbing, #open jars

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An instructor standing next to a rock climbing wall says, "Welcome to the employee rock climbing seminar." The instructor says, "You'll learn valuable teamwork skills by doing dangerous things unrelated to your job." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice look skeptical. Wally says, "Isn't rock climbing a solo activity?" Dilbert says, "I'll help identify your body." Wally says, "It seems like you need a strong grip to climb rocks." Wally says, 'I can't even open jars unless I use special tools." Wally grips his arm and screams, "Ow! Cramp!" Wally says, "I'm disoriented by the pain!" He falls into the others and knocks them down. Dilbert says, "Hey!" The instructor awards them their certificates and says, "Here are your diplomas. Now get out." Wally, Dilbert and Alice are in a heap on the floor. They all think in unison, "Go team!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss zone, #donuts on hair, #executive retreat, #failure, #one month, #project, #six phases, #uncertainty, #approval

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The Boss sits at his desk and hands a piece of paper to Alice. The Boss says, "Get my approval at each phase. Finish in one month." Alice looks at the paper and says, "Let's see.. You're on vacation next week. Then you're traveling, then there's an executive retreat..." Alice continues while the Boss appears to listen, "It takes three weeks to get on your calendar... and the project has six phases..." Alice says, "What we have here is guaranteed failure." Alice says, "You've left nothing to chance on this one." Alice says, "I mean, normally there's a bit of uncertainty, but you've..oh." Alice says, "You've slipped into the "Boss Zone" where you can't see or hear employee input." The Boss is a zombie and Alice waves her hand in front of his eyes to no effect. The Boss says to Carol, his secretary, "It's weird. I lost ten minutes, and when I woke up, my doughnuts were gone." A doughnut is stuck on each of The Boss's tufts of hair.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #engineering conference, #most valuable asset, #decline, #overtime, #assets decline, #fine art, #every year, #louve, #certification of depreciation, #earned your air

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The Boss is on stage behind a podium and speaks to the crowd. "The theme of this engineering conference is..." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice sit in the front row. The Boss continues, "Employees are our most valuable asset." He says, "And lik emost assets, you decline in value over time." He says, "I know what you're thinking: Not all assets decline in value." He says, "For example, fine art is worth more every year." The Boss points to an image of Wally and says, "But I don't think the Louvre will be asking for one of these anytime soon." The Boss introduces Catbert and says, "On your way our, Mister Catbert will give each one of you a certificate of depreciation." Wally says, "It's still better than last year's theme, "Have you earned your air today?" Catbert hands Dilbert his award.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1998's comic on:


Tags #self employed, #invent valuable things, #exploit them, #resource, #bad input, #Dogbert

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the kitchen table and enjoy a cup of coffee together. Dilbert says, "I'm thinking of quitting and working for myself." Dogbert says, "Come work for me." Dilbert says, "Doing what?" Dogbert says, "You'll invent things and I'll exploit you... I mean them." Dilbert says, "I'm not sure you'd be the best boss, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Don't give me that input you 'resource.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1998's comic on:


Tags #victim of curse, #20/20, #john stossel, #shows cure, #commercial, #valuable information, #old nemesis, #tv shows

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Dilbert, cursed by both Dogbert and the World's Smartest Garbage Man, sits watching television. He has Dogbert's eyes and nose and is dressed in garbage man coveralls. The tv says, "Are you the victim of a curse?" Dilbert says, "Yes, I am." The tv says, "Next on 20/20, John Stossel shows you the cure." Dilbert's ears shoot straight up and his garbage man hat flies off. Dilbert pokes his head in the doorway and says, "Ha! After the commercial I will get valuable information for people like me!" Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Well, well. It seems my old nemesis, John Stossel, was been busy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #technical skills, #marketing, #valaubale, #ire, #balled up paper, #cheerleader squad, #business

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Wally, Carol, and Ted sitting at a table. Wally says, "Unlike you people in Marketing, I have highly sought technical skills." Carol looking at Wally while he says, "I'm too valuable to fire. So from now on, I'll deliver my project status on a balled-up piece of paper." Carol growls with her arms folded, "Grrr." Wally asks, "Is the cheerleader squad ready?" as he is about to flick a crumbled piece of paper into Ted's open arms (table hockey).

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #time sheet, #detailed, #easier to make up, #carol, #secreatry, #crinkles up

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Dilbert hands a piece of paper to Carol. Dilbert says, "Here's my time sheet, in exquisite detail." Carol wads the time sheet up. Carol says, "It's easier to input the numbers if I make them up as I go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1998's comic on:


Tags #sadistic nut, #dennis, #insulting, #sadistic, #meeting, #assume skills, #thousand dead camels, #rotting flesh, #business

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A Young Woman, Dennis, and Dilbert sit at the conference table. The young woman asks, "Are there any questions?" Dennis, the sadistic nut, yells, "Why does your body lotion smell like the rotting flest of a thousand dead camels?" The Young Woman turns to Wally and says, "I assume he has valuable skills." Wally tells her, "No, you're thinking of a prima donna."