75k Per Year Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

424 Results for 75k Per Year

View 31 - 40 results for 75k per year comic strips. Discover the best "75k Per Year" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Year Resolution

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Year Resolution  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #holidays, #new year, #sarcasm, #weight, #new year's resolutions

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates. Carol: So...nothing about your weight? Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.

Contractor Wants To Be Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Contractor Wants To Be Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiation, #contract work, #contractor, #pay.wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I've been a contractor here for over a year. Maybe you should just hire me. Boss: Who are you? I didn't even know I was paying you. Man: Perhaps we can pretend this conversation never happened. Boss: That feels like the best option.

Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #award, #irony, #honesty, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert gets the Employee Of The Year award for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: Thanks, but all I do is agree with whatever ridiculous thing you say because it's just easier that way. Boss: Just take the stupid award! Dilbert: I'm honored.

Wally's Stealth Drone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Stealth Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #deceit, #drone, #technology, #invention, #fake

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: In my right hand is a standard drone. In my left hand is a drone using the cloaking technology I invented. Voices: Ooh! Wow! Wally: I'll demonstrate it flying as soon as I finish the noise cancellation. CEO: Employee of the year!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Dogbert The Loan Shark

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Loan Shark   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loan, #loan shark, #money, #racket, #interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #anger, #frustration, #trolling, #needling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.

Getting The Wrong Answer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Getting The Wrong Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #spending, #Advice, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #idiot, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you know, every project in this company has one idiot on the team. Man: That can't be true. Boss: It is true. I assign one idiot per team to keep them from bunching together. Man: My project team doesn't have any idiots. Dilbert: There's a good explanation for why you think that. Man: I Don't see what that would be. If I had an idiot on my team I would know it. Unless...

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.