Catbert Comic Strips - Page 4

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655 Results for Catbert

View 31 - 40 results for Catbert comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally And The Management Track

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Wally And The Management Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers

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wally: how can i get on the management track? catbert: are you kidding me? catbert: you are the most useless employee i have ever seen. all you do is walk around and bother people who are trying to work. wally: are you saying i can't get on the management track? catbert: i'm saying you're already on it.

Twizzle The Flurm

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Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confused, employees, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers

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Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

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Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, office workers, punishment, threat

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Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!

Soaring With The Eagles

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Soaring With The Eagles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office workers, inspiration

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Boss: The inspirational poster I put in the break room isn't working. I asked around and no one is soaring with the eagles. Catbert: Is the poster defective? Boss: That's the only explanation that makes sense.

Keeping The Worthless People

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Keeping The Worthless People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, managers & supervisors, salary, incompetence

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Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, engineering, frustration, managers & supervisors, office workers, work, schedule

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Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.

Catbert Personality Test

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Catbert Personality Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, applicants, personality, test, reliable, Astrology, reliability

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Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.

Death In The Family

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Death In The Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carol, Catbert, death, Family, dies, specific

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Carol: Can I take time off for a death in the family? Catbert: Well, it depends who dies. Carol: Can you be more specific? Catbert: It has to be you.

No Policy Against Lying

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No Policy Against Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, ted, evil, director, human, resources, lying, policy, checked

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources. Ted: Alice called me a liar. Catbert: What were you doing when that happened? Ted: Lying. Catbert: Maybe we should talk about that. Ted: There's no company policy against lying I checked.

Coworkers Getting Dumber

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Coworkers Getting Dumber - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, Dilbert, imagination, co-workers, dumber, know

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Dilbert: Is it my imagination or are my co-workers getting dumber every day? Catbert: They aren't getting dumber. You're just getting to know them better. It looks the same.