Add Resource Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

139 Results for Add Resource

View 31 - 40 results for add resource comic strips. Discover the best "Add Resource" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert And Alice Add Features

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert And Alice Add Features - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #simplicity, #engineers, #complication, #complicated, #coffee, #mug, #overthinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Our boss asked me to totally ruin my double-handled coffee mug invention by adding features. I am asking each of you to suppress your engineering impulses just this one time and let this perfect product stay perfect. Dilbert: It would be perfect if it had wi-fi and a projection keyboard. Alice: Maybe add some health sensors and GPS.

Showering In Tube Clothes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Showering In Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothes, #clothing, #efficiency, #engineers, #laundry, #nerd, #tube clothes, #shower, #shower drain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered that I can wear my tube clothing in the shower! It's like doing laundry and taking a shower at the same time! I can add one more efficiency, but I'd need to replumb the shower drain. Tina: Please stop talking!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ten things, #leaders do, #nine habits, #successful people, #article, #time management, #tricks, #good leadership, #listening skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Did you get the link I sent about the ten things all leaders need to do? I also sent you an article about the nine habits of successful people. And I sent you an article about the time management tricks used by successful people. According ti my research. There are 17,429 tricks you need to master to be a good leader. That might seem like a lot. But if you master ten per year, you'll be 1.2% competent by the time you retire. Boss: Why are we having this conversation? Wally: Im going to add "Listening skills" to the list.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #stress

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I am always tense and I don't know why. Wally: It's the tyranny of expectations, Asok. People still expect you to add value. Competence is a vicious cycle. Asok: Can you teach me to be useless like you? Wally: It's better if I don't so you can learn by example.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #vendor, #software patch, #installed, #add value, #tested, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ask the vendor if they have a software patch to fix our problem. Dilbert: I already asked for the patch, installed it, and thoroughly tested in in production. Boss: I think I'll go add value someplace else. Dilbert: That's a good place to do it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarras myself, #emotional meltdown, #panicked, #public speaking, #substance abuse, #worry

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm panicked about my presentation tomorrow. Wally: Relax. What's the worst that could happen? Dilbert: Well, I could embarrass myself in a career-ending way. Wally: Oh. I didn't think about that one. It might be so bad that you can't even get a recommendation for a future job. Then you'd have an emotional meltdown followed by substance abuse, untreated health issues, and a lonely death. And it could all happen because of something as trivial as a typo on one of your slides. I guess I can add "comforting" to my list of things I'm no good at.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #work ethic, #attend meetings, #add value, #big idea guy, #conceptualist

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: You attend all of my project meetings but you never add value. Wally: I'm more of a big idea guy-- a conceptualist, if you will. Coworker: Okay, what's your big idea? Wally: Okay, here's where my system breaks down.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #sense of urgency, #energy, #pretend to work, #fake urgency, #vague goals, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to have a sense of urgency. Wally: I use most of my energy pretending to work, but I can add a layer of fake urgency if you really need it. Boss: What? Wally: I gotta go! I have vague goals to achieve!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #online (web) news, #news manufaturer, #online media, #misleading headlines, #snarky bow, #news naturally, #engineer, #news magic, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I got a job as a news manufacturer for an online media company. I quote people out of context, add misleading headlines and tie it all up with a snarky bow. Dilbert: I thought the news occurred naturally. Dogbert: "Entineer Thinks News is Magic."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #interviews, #tools for job, #resource, #agree to disagree, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Question four: do you have the tools to do your job? Wally: That depends. Do you consider yourself a tool? Boss: I'm a resource. Wally: Let's agree to disagree.