Bat Your Head Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

579 Results for Bat Your Head

View 31 - 40 results for bat your head comic strips. Discover the best "Bat Your Head" comics from Dilbert.com.

Nod At Preset Intervals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nod At Preset Intervals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #lie, #collusion, #nonverbal communication, #honest, #sales, #sales personnel, #ethics, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You don't have to lie to customers, but at least nod your head when our salesperson lies. Dilbert: Can I not at preset intervals and let the salesperson time the lies to my nods? Salesman: I can work with that.

I Would Never Ask You To Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Would Never Ask You To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #lying, #sales, #ethics, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #deadline, #team, #teamwork, #frustration, #rage, #telekinesis, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I worked all night to finish my part. Coworker: I admire your work ethic, Alice. I only finished half of my part. Alice: Wait... if you didn't finish your part, it was a total waste of time for me to finish mine. Coworker: That's one way to look at it. Alice: What time last night did you know you would not be done by today? Coworker: Must have been about six. I got hungry, then I had to unwind. Are you trying to make my head explode by focusing anger at my skull? Alice: First time that worked. Practice paid off.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #work, #results, #observation, #thinking, #strategy, #proof, #evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idea, #brainstorm, #bald, #baldness, #hat, #steal, #patent, #invention

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I thought of a product idea that could solve the baldness epidemic. Imagine an opaque material in the shape of a dome that puts the top of one's head in stealth mode. Dilbert: We could call it a "hat." CEO: Stop trying to steal my idea!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fitness, #martial arts, #violence, #fighting, #yoga, #misunderstanding, #exercise, #fusion, #danger, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm almost positive yoga is not one of the martial arts. Boss: Not by itself. We're learning a defensive style of yoga that incorporates the more violent elements of feng shui and Irish dancing. Dilbert: That doesn't sound lethal. Boss: Put your head on the ground and say that again.

Wally Thinks Twice As Hard

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Thinks Twice As Hard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #motivation, #trick, #deception, #excuse, #lazy, #energy, #con, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm working twice as hard as ever before. Most of it is happening inside my head. But trust me, my brain is working double-time. Boss: Um... that's great. Wally: Obviously, I need to work fewer hours because of the energy drain.

Topper Never Sleeps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Topper Never Sleeps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sleep, #tired, #brag, #bragging, #braggart, #absurd, #competition, #top, #embellish, #embellishment, #exaggeration, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper. Dilbert: I only slept four hours last night. Topper: That's nothing. I was born awake and decided to stay that way. Dilbert: Lack of sleep is making me a little loopy. Topper: I have a human head collection.

Hire Smarter People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire Smarter People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #success, #insult, #power, #compliment, #backhanded compliment, #ego, #humility, #humble

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
In The Long Run We Are All Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #work ethic, #existentialism, #suffering, #death, #philosophy, #pessimism, #Advice, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.