Boss Asks Comic Strips - Page 4

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1000 Results for Boss Asks

View 31 - 40 results for boss asks comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Asks" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Will Train You

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Ted Will Train You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, absence, coffee, helpful, problem, successful, sarcasm

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boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.

Potted Plant

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Potted Plant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, communication, job, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, employees, feelings, potted plant, new, boss

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ceo: the only reason you have a job is so i don't have to talk to employees. but i still talk to you every day, so i hired a potted plant to be your new boss. boss: i feel deeply insulted. ceo: see? a plant would never feel that way.

Wally The Rebel

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Wally The Rebel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, problem, authority, lazy, rebel, like it, business cards, sarcasm

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boss: wally, you have a problem with authority. wally: wow! i thought i was lazy. but maybe i'm actually a rebel. yes, i like it. can i add it to my business cards? boss yelling: no!

Elbonian Hackers Attack

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Elbonian Hackers Attack  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, elbonian, hackers, attack, stole, database, ranking, employee, haircuts, sarcasm

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dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.

Another Zoom Meeting

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Another Zoom Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, meetings, zoom, scheduled, emptiness, soul, overeating, Advice

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dilbert on zoom call with boss. boss: we're having another zoom meeting at 4 p.m. dilbert: what's the topic? boss: its about how i fill the deep emptiness of my soul by scheduling zoom meetings. dilbert: have you tried overeating? that seems to work for me.

Asok Sighs Too Much

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Asok Sighs Too Much - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, relationships, relocate, sigh, innocent, metamorphosis, question, cubicle, intern

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alice: can you relocate asok's cubicle? he sighs to much, and it's bugging me. boss: he sighs because he is metamorphosing from an innocent intern into a disgruntled employee. boss to asok: how long is this gonna take? asok: sigh

Deleting Before Audit

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Deleting Before Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, auditor, suspect, delete, database, believe, incriminating, hide

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internal auditor: i find it hard to believe you "accidentally" deleted a database just as i arrived. it makes me suspect you tried to hide something incriminating. boss: sounds like reasonable doubt to me.

Internal Audit

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Internal Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, internal audit, unannounced, appearance, databases, delete, accident, blame, order

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dilbert: internal auditors just showed up unannounced. boss distressed: delete all of our databases and make it look like an accident! dilbert: they'd know i did it. boss: but they wouldn't know i ordered it.

Anonymous Sources

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Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, company, anonymous, credibility, trust, lie, thief, sources

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boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Leadership Quality

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Leadership Quality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, fire, managers & supervisors, firing, employees, stimulating, sociopath, strong, leader, difference

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boss: i find it oddly stimulating to fire employees. does that make me a sociopath or a strong leader? catbert: i take it from your question that you think those are different things.