Breakfast Guy Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

386 Results for Breakfast Guy

View 31 - 40 results for breakfast guy comic strips. Discover the best "Breakfast Guy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Meets Dick

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Meets Dick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mean, #jerk, #internet, #comment, #sarcasm, #forum, #social media, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Someone told me you're the guy who makes all the jerky comments on the Internet. Dick: Oh, really? Someone "told you?" Wow. Have you heard of a thing called science? Asok: It's you! Dick: I'll bet you use a dumb avatar, too.

Robot Personality Defect

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Personality Defect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defect, #defective, #Men, #personality, #patriarchy, #gender, #programming, #robot, #deception, #trick, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: We need to design a defect into our robots so we can control them if they try to take over. But it has to be the type of defect that they think is an advantage, so they don't know what we're up to. Alice: I gave you the personality of a guy. Robot: Yay for sports! I own this world, bro!

Ceo Is On Nine Boards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Is On Nine Boards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board, #board member, #power, #bragging, #focus, #attention

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #first impression, #culture, #interview, #job interview, #deception, #revenge, #nice, #niceness, #nice people, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

Buy One Elbonian

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Buy One Elbonian - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slave, #slaves, #slavery, #owner, #obliviousness, #nuance, #help, #maid, #maids, #servant, #servants, #semantics

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: That is unfair. I buy a few Elbonians on the Internet and suddenly I'm the "slave owner" guy. Alice: You are literally an owner of slaves. CEO: I prefer to think of them as bad negotiators.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wifi, #wi-fi, #internet, #coffee shop, #public, #privacy, #security, #technology, #cyber security, #password, #identity, #identity theft, #passwords

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Yay, you have wi-fi! Now I can drink overpriced coffee while strangers steal my passwords. The timing is sort of a coincidence. Because I was just wondering what would be the fastest way to lose everything I own. And this fixes one of my other big problems too... I always want to share my browser history with strangers, and now I can! By the way, I'm Dilbert. Elbonian: I was Gropnorb, but now I go by Fred. Dilbert: Did a guy named Fred use your wi-fi? Elbonian: Right after he under-tipped.

Alice Attracts Wrong Guys

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Attracts Wrong Guys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stalk, #stalker, #stalking, #dating, #drone, #spying, #spy, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I have a history of dating men who become stalkers. But I have a good feeling about this new guy. He shows no stalker tendencies at all. Dilbert: What's he do for a living? Alice: Aerial photography using drones.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet, #types of people, #internet comment, #Opinion, #discussion, #fame, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm Dick, from the Internet. I'm the guy who always says ridiculous, angry stuff. I misinterpret every comment you make as an absurd absolute and then I attack it like you are a moron. Dilbert: That doesn't sound fun. Dick: Wow. So you are saying everything in the world needs to be fun. Maybe you should do some research before you embarrass yourself like that again. Dilbert: Hey! You are the guy from the Internet! Dick: I'm sending you five links that are not as relevant as I think they are. Dilbert: You're famous!

Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social interaction, #social media, #coders, #coding, #engineers, #friends, #work ethic, #social life, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented an app that evaluates job candidates based on their online footprint. Here's a guy with no friend, no hobbies, no family, and hundreds of high-quality code submissions to GitHub. Wait, that's me. Boss: Do you have any apps about other people?

Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #babble, #economics, #obliviousness, #economist, #economy, #hiring

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new hobby is explaining economics using babble talk. It sounds totally real. For example, did you know that the bubble in commodities is creating an oversupply of interest rates? Meanwhile... Boss: Our Chief Economist quit. CEO: Promote that bald guy. He sounds smart.