Broken Copier Comic Strips - Page 4
71 Results for Broken Copier
View 31 - 40 results for broken copier comic strips. Discover the best "Broken Copier" comics from Dilbert.com.
Vendor: We'll build your software with all the features you want plus a few extras. Dilbert: "Or maybe you'll start late and claim there's no way to do everything by the deadline." "Then you'll say that the unfinished features aren't important and you're losing money on the deal." Vendor: "I can't hear you."
Alice: "My vacation was so relaxing that I'm still floating." Man: "Hey, Alice, you know how I promised to cover all of your meetings for two weeks? I forgot until right now." Alice: "From floating to furious in 27 seconds. It's a personal best."
Dilbert says into the telephone, "Thanks for testing my new invention." The woman on the other end of the line says, "If this thing works, it will forever change the way that mothers use the telephone." Dilbert says, "We've been on the phone for half a minute. The noise should start at any moment." The woman says, "Here it comes." A toddler walks into the room and yells, "Hey! What are you doing on the phone?!" The toddler continues yelling, "Can I eat ten cookies? I think my arm is broken! Where's my toy?!!" The toddler cries, "Waaaaaaaaa!!" On the other end of the line, Dilbert says, "Now push the toddler noise cancellation button." The toddler's mouth is still wide open, but no sound is coming out. The woman says, "It stopped the noise, but you need to do something about the visual."
Headline: Meanwhile In Heck... Phil is playing poker with a snowman. Phil says, "You're on a winning streak, Snowball." Phil goes over to the thermostat and adjusts the temperature. He says, "But let's see what happens to your chances when I turn up the heat!" Phil says into the telephone, "That's right - the furnace is broken again!" Snowball says, "Four queens."
Dilbert is giving a presentation. He says, "The original schedule looked like this..." Dilbert points to a slide and says, "One month for a management decision and one year to do the project." The Boss, Wally, and Alice listen as Dilbert continues, "The revised schedule is this..." Dilbert continues, "One year of indecision followed by intense pressure to do the impossible before the deadline." Dilbert passes a box of 3-D glasses and says, "Now if you'll each take a pair of 3-D glasses..." Dilbert continues, "You can see the layers of management incompetence practically jump out at you." Dilbert hands out cards and says, "Now scratch one of these scented cards to sniff the unmistakable odor of doom." Wally and Alice are suffering from the smell. The Boss says, "I don't smell anything. Is mine broken?"
Carol says into the telephone, "And I'd like the copier repair guy to be a tall non- smoker with well-defined abs." Carol continues, "Oh. You're not a dating service, eh? Well if I give you money and you send some guy then it's just semantics." Carol continues, "And could you shave his back and oil him up before you send him?"
Carol says on the telephone, "Send a copier repair guy. And make sure he's good-looking." Carol continues, "Because I live in a big tin can and I work in an egg carton. Flirting is the only joy I have." Carol continues, "Nothing's wrong with the copier yet, but I feel a fierce paper jam coming on."
The Boss is with a toothless man who has a broken arm and an eye patch. The Boss says to Dilbert, "Meet your new cubicle neighbor. His name is Mel." The Boss continues, "Mel will be making loud personal calls all day." Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. He hears Mel on the phone, "Is it supposed to make a squishy sound? Listen to this..."
Dilbert approaches a woman at a desk. He asks, "Our copier is broken. May I use yours?" The woman responds, "Only if you use your own paper." Dilbert says, "I just need one copy and my office is about a mile away." The woman replies, "Don't make me unleash the hound." A man wearing dog ear muffs crouches next to the woman. Dilbert asks, "That's a hound?" The woman responds, "Technically he's a web designer in a tight labor market."
The Boss is sitting at his computer. He says into the telephone, "My keyboard is broken. It only types asterisks for passwords." Headline: Dogbert's Tech Support. On the other end of the line, Dogbert replies, "Try changing your password to five asterisks." The Boss says to himself, "I hope I can remember it."