Business Consultant Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for business consultant comic strips. Discover the best "Business Consultant" comics from Dilbert.com.

Service Human And Pay

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Service Human And Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #abuse, #business, #office, #office workers, #service, #payment

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the boss: i'm hearing that you are abusing your service human. the boss: i don't think you pay him enough for that. service human: wait. i'm suppose to get paid for this??? dogbert: great. now you've ruined him!

Dogbert's Service Human

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Dogbert's Service Human - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #business, #magazines, #office, #office workers, #service, #ipad

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dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human. office worker on leash. dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax. service human: no one reads magazines anymore. dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?

Touch Base With Carl

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Touch Base With Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers

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the boss: can you reach out to carl and touch base? dilbert: can you restate that using normal words? the boss: i could, but then it would feel as if i'm not managing you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

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dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Winners Never Quit

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Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

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the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

Go Hard Or Go Home

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Go Hard Or Go Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #inspirational quote

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the boss: your inspirational quote of the day is... next frame is outside of office building: "go hard or go home." the boss in empty conference room: i shouldn't have made it sound like a choice.

If You Can Dream

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If You Can Dream - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #Dilbert, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Wally

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The boss: i'll be sharing one inspirational quote each day. next frame shows outside of office: "if you can dream it, you can achieve it." Wally: zzz-zzzz. dilbert: he's off to a good start.

Never Stop Dreaming

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Never Stop Dreaming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Dilbert, #boss

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the boss: i printed out some inspirational slogans to motivate you. the boss: the first one is "never stop dreaming." wally: zzzz-zzzz.

Wally And His Priorities

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Wally And His Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #business, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

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the boss: wally, can you attend a meeting at 10 am tomorrow? wally: sure. here's a list of my projects so you can tell me which one you want to fail while i'm wasting my time at your meeting. the boss: was there a chance one of them would succeed? wally: well played

Wally's Reading Time

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Wally's Reading Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #business, #meetings, #office, #office workers

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alice: wally, can we meet tomorrow at 8 am? wally: that's when i eat breakfast in the cafeteria. alice: how about 9 am? wally: that would bump into my bowel and reading time.