Common Sense Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

203 Results for Common Sense

View 31 - 40 results for common sense comic strips. Discover the best "Common Sense" comics from Dilbert.com.

Fire The Bottom Ten Percent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fire The Bottom Ten Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rank, #hierarchy, #value, #fired, #termination, #layoff, #logic, #executives

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want you to fire the employees you ranked in the bottom ten percent. Boss: Wouldn't that just put someone else in the bottom ten percent? CEO: Everything made sense until you started talking. Boss: Sorry.

Hire Agile Programmers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire Agile Programmers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pun, #deception, #earthquake, #agility

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You should move the agile programmers to building six because it has poor earthquake protection. they can jump out of the way if stuff starts falling. Boss; I guess that makes sense. Wally: Can I have one of their cubicles near a window?

Wally's Email Makes No Sense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Email Makes No Sense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bot, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally's emails make no sense. Dilbert: He replaced himself with a chatbot. He designed the chatbot to be useless so you'd think it was him. Boss: And he thought this would fool me? Dilbert: He's been gone for four months.

Social Justice Warrior

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Social Justice Warrior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sjw, #hiring, #internet, #troll, #trolling, #sensitivity, #political correcness, #politically correct, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: According to people on the Internet, you're what's called a "social justice warrior." Man: The tone of your voice indicates you are against me. And that means you are making common cause with racists. Boss: If I hire you, will you stop saying crazy stuff like that? Man: Censorship!

Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #election, #voting, #choice, #choosing, #decision, #indecision, #judgement

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't decide who to vote for in this election. Alice: Make your voting decision the same way you make your work decisions. Boss: Common sense and gut instinct? Alice: We just call it "wrong."

Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #identity theft, #impostor, #insult, #investment, #money, #stealing, #guest artist, #josh shipley

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: An identity thief stole my identity and opened a brokerage account. Dilbert: How did they know he was an impostor? Did he make a smart investment? Boss: That isn't funny. Wally: Did the impostor have a sense of humor?

False Sense Of Urgency

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
False Sense Of Urgency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.

Something About Asok Was Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Something About Asok Was Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #leadership, #managers, #frustration, #humor

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Where's Asok? Dilbert: The FBI took him on suspicion of being a terrorist. Boss: Now that you mention it, something about him was wrong. Dilbert: Was it his boss? Boss: Was that a joke? Dilbert: I'm not sure. I don't have a sense of humor, either.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pessimism, #people, #experience, #psychic, #esp, #sixth sense, #learning, #misanthrope

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I'll give you the data tomorrow, Asok. Asok: Thanks, Brad! Urk! Suddenly, I know I will not get that data tomorrow. Dilbert: Why are you so freaked out? Asok: I... I... think I can see the future now. Somehow I know that Brad will not do what he says he will do. Dilbert: That's called "experience." It's the first step toward hating all people. Asok: How can I make it stop? Dilbert: I hear good things about death.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #character, #behavior, #role model, #mentor, #secret, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!