Dead Pig Comic Strips - Page 4
213 Results for Dead Pig
View 31 - 40 results for dead pig comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Pig" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 01, 2014's comic on:
Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.
Share September 14, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Alice, people are uncomfortable with your communication style. Alice: Did someone complain? Boss: No, I'm picking it up in their body language. Alice: So.. people have bad posture and that means I don't say things right? Boss: Call it a gut feeling. Alice: Ohhhh. That sounds rational. Let's toss some feng shui into the equation and maybe get a psychic to contact the dead to see what they say bout me. Or maybe everyone could stop being whiny babies! Oh, wait. I see it now.
Share December 25, 2013's comic on:
Dogbert: Merry Christmas! This gift is based on the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. There's a cat in here that's neither dead nor alive. Dilbert: Where are the airholes? Dogbert: I have control issues.
Share August 20, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: My motivation is low today. I understand it's your job to fix that situation. An insincere attaboy or a fake interest in my life would be enough. Boss: Drop dead and let the flies eat you. Dilbert: I set the bar too high again.
Share June 15, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: All I did this week was rearrange bits on the Internet. I had no real impact on the physical world. I can't rule out the possibility that I'm already dead and I don't know it. Okay, still an open question.
Share June 07, 2013's comic on:
Wulf: I was Schrodinger's cat back in the day. That's why I'm alive and dead at the same time. I know the truth about the afterlife because my dead half told my living half all about it. Do you want to know what happens? Wally: Stop projecting your curiosity on me.
Share June 06, 2013's comic on:
Catbert: This is Wulf. He used to work for a famous physicist named Schrodinger. He escaped before the experiment was finished and now he's both alive and dead at the same time. Dilbert: Like a zombie? Catbert: Uh-oh. Wulf: Wow. I have half a mind to be offended by that.
Share May 26, 2013's comic on:
Wally: I programmed our robot to make medical diagnoses. It can scan your body using its neutrino sensor. Robot, please demonstrate. Robot: Dead man walking! Boss: What? Robot: Your brain is the size of a dried apricot. Your heart is more cheeseburger than human tissue. You will be dead in eleven days, six hours, and nineteen minutes. Boss: Gaaa!!! Robot: Why did you program me to hate people? Wally: It was easier than inventing a neutrino sensor.
Share March 21, 2013's comic on:
The Boss; Your engineering looks great, but your social media score is nearly zero. You have no friends , no followers, and no social influence whatsoever. Man: because I four on my work! The Boss: No, Im pretty sure you're dead.
Share February 14, 2013's comic on:
Boss: How's it going, underling? Dilbert: My long hours and insane workload are causing fatigue, depression, and organ failure. I'll probably be dead in a month. Boss: When did people stop saying "fine?"