Delivery Man Comic Strips - Page 4
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1000 Results for Delivery Man
View 31 - 40 results for delivery man comic strips. Discover the best "Delivery Man" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 09,
2019
Scourge Of Teamwork
Tags #help, #insults, #office workers, #work, #teams
Transcript
Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.
Friday August 30,
2019
No One Is Taking Advice
Tags #Advice, #confidence, #employees, #jobs, #office workers, #youth
Transcript
Man: I keep telling people how to do their jobs, but no one takes my advice. Wally: Maybe that's because you are so inexperienced that you don't realize how bad your advice is. That's ridiculous. How could I be so wrong and yet feel so confident? Wally: I miss being young.
Thursday August 29,
2019
The Inexperienced Employee.
Tags #Advice, #criticism, #employees, #insults, #office workers
Transcript
Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.
Wednesday August 28,
2019
Inexperienced Employee Advice
Tags #criticism, #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #experience, #arrogant
Transcript
Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?
Wednesday August 21,
2019
Wally Has Higher Income
Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary
Transcript
Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.
Thursday August 15,
2019
The Bad Analogy Guy
Tags #meetings, #office workers, #sarcasm, #war
Transcript
Man: This meeting reminds me of the sixth elbonian revolution. Therefore, logically, this meeting will end with bayonets. Asok: What's wrong with you? Man: Can I borrow your pen?
Wednesday August 14,
2019
Bad Analogy Guy Fits In
Tags #employees, #insults, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Man: Hi. I'm the bad analogy guy. I can't tell the difference between thinking and simply being reminded of unrelated things. Wally: You'll fit in well here. Man: You dress like a liar.
Tuesday August 13,
2019
Hiring A Bad Analogy Guy
Tags #office, #office workers, #questions, #sarcasm, #arrogance
Transcript
Boss: I hired a bad analogy guy. Instead of giving reasons for his opinions, he asks ridiculous questions while acting arrogant. Dilbert: That doesn't seem useful. Man: Would you say that about oxygen?
Thursday August 08,
2019
Poor Communication Skills
Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #questions, #projects
Transcript
Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.
Sunday August 04,
2019
Circular Debating
Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy
Transcript
Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!