Different Religions Comic Strips - Page 4

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134 Results for Different Religions

View 31 - 40 results for different religions comic strips. Discover the best "Different Religions" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #obliviousness, #million units, #customers happy, #our goals, #their goals, #this quarter

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CEO: Our goal is to ship a million units this quarter. Dilbert: Do we have any goals that involve making customers happy? CEO: I'm talking about our goals, not their goals. Boss: Totally different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #obliviousness, #thinking, #perspectives, #benefits, #thought diveristy, #all idiots

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Boss: I hired people who have different perspectives so we could enjoy the benefits of thought diversity. But they disagree with everything I say, so I have to assume they're all idiots. Am I right? Catbert: Totally.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #executives, #mental health, #psychopaths, #grandiose sense, #self worth, #kill for asking

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Executive Coaching Dogbert; Research shows that CEOs are more likely to be psychopaths. Obviously, being a psychopath works. Don't let anyone tell you different. How's your grandiose sense of self-worth? CEO: It's the best. I should kill you for asking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #employees, #laziness, #insuffcemt light, #interpret, #accomplishments, #project team, #buzzwords, #duplicates, #harvesting organs, #business

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Boss: Wally, this is my brother, Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light. I asked him to interpret your accomplishments for this quarter. Phil You have 25 alleged accomplishments. Eight of these accomplishments involved simply being on a project team that did something. Nine accomplishments involved fixing problems you created. Five of these are just buzzwords that don't mean anything. And three are duplicates that you reworded to appear different. I'd recommend harvesting his organs, but those probably don't work either. Wally: That's just mean.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #work ethic, #rumour, #wo jobs, #outsource job, #elbonia

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Boss: I heard a rumor that you have two jobs and you outsource both of them to Elbonia and keep the difference. Wally: That's crazy. I assure you I don not have two jobs outsourced to Elbonia. Boss: Is it more than two? Wally: That's a different conversation.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #how-to, #obstinacy, #rules of leadership, #context, #books, #different approach, #real leaders, #magic formula, #gullible baboon, #throughout history, #random book, #Entertainment

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Boss: I'm reading a great management book about the rules of leadership. Dilbert: Allow me to put that in context. There are probably 10,000 books about leadership, and each one has a different approach. And there are millions of real leaders, of which no two are alike. Moreover, every situation is unique and requires a different type of leader. And yet this one author has found a magic formula to transform you from a gullible baboon into a great leader. And that makes sense because all great leaders throughout history achieved success by reading a random book. Boss: I don't like context. Dilbert: It isn't popular.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #how-to, #best selliners, #leadership, #sociopathic tendencies, #personality disorders, #read books, #coffee, #metting, #office

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Dilbert: As you requested, I researched all of the best-selling books on the topic of leadership. Apparently, leadership is the product of sociopathic tendencies plus luck. All other personality traits are inactive ingredients. Wally: Did you actually read all of those books? Dilbert: I only needed to know they were all different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #thinking, #intuition, #make decisions

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Dilbert: I wonder if I should rely more on my intuition to make decisions. Dogbert: You mean guessing? Dilbert: No. Guessing is totally different from intuition because of the... um... These things make sense in my head! Dogbert: Is there room in there with all of the intuition?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #consensus, #display leadership, #business

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Boss: See if you can get consensus on your idea and get back to me. Dilbert: Or you could display some leadership and get back to me. Boss: I'm leading you right now. Dilbert: Really? I thought it would feel different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #discuss project, #civility is dead, #invited to meeting, #office

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Coworker: What's a good time to get together and discuss my project? Dilbert: Never. Every interaction I've had with you has been a waste of time. I have no reason to think it will be different in the future. Coworker: Sheesh! How did civility die? Dilbert: Maybe you invited it to a meeting.