Do Marketing Things Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

638 Results for Do Marketing Things

View 31 - 40 results for do marketing things comic strips. Discover the best "Do Marketing Things" comics from Dilbert.com.

Beg And Pay Store

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Beg And Pay Store - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #buying, #selling, #begging, #internet

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!

First Time Doing Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
First Time Doing Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #criminals, #marketing, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, dogbert and the boss at conference room table. dogbert: your competition has a superior product, but you can compensate by branding them as evil. dilbert: we can say they charge too much. dogbert: or...we can say their leather cases are made from the skin of executed criminals. dilbert: but that would not be true. dogbert: first time doing marketing?

Evil Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Evil Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #chimps, #evil, #marketing, #office, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Twitch Gets You More Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Twitch Gets You More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #communication, #office, #office workers, #project

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: does anyone have an idea for fixing our communication problem with marketing? dilbert, alice, wally and asok thinking: must...not...speak or else he will assign the project to me. the boss: i saw your eye twitch. the project is all yours. alice: GAAAA!!! visually upset

New Feature Added

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Feature Added - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #marketing, #office, #office workers, #time travel

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i need you to add a feature to our product because our marketing campaign says we already have it. dilbert: no problem. what's the feature? the boss: time travel. the boss: how long will it take to add that feature? dilbert: if i'm successful, i'll have it done by last week.

Wally Slurps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Slurps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #soup

View Transcript

Transcript

alice visually distressed and yelling: can you please stop slurping that soup? wally: wow. you complain when i clip my toe-nails, when i make lip-smacking sounds, when i use my speaker-phone, and even when i microwave fish. alice still yelling: doesn't that tell you some things?? wally: yes, it's impossible to please you. slurp.

Detailed Explanation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Detailed Explanation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: did my detailed explanation answer your question? wally: i started to lose consciousness about fifteen minutes into it, so I thought of other things while you talked, just to stay awake. office worker: i could start over. wally: go ahead. i'll be down the hall if you need me.

Sean From Extreme Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sean From Extreme Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #extreme, #marketing, #sean, #brainwashing, #technology, #unapprove, #first

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is Sean from the extreme marketing department. He's here to tell us about our new brainwashing technology. Dilbert: I don't approve of brainwashing. Sean: That's why I'm going to do you first.

Manipulation Via Dopamine

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manipulation Via Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer, #lotalty, #science, #new, #manipulate, #addictions, #mockery, #free will, #evil, #extreme

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've moved past the old notation of customer loyalty. Now we use science to manipulate dopamine and create addictions that make a mockery of free will. Dilbert: That sounds like the epitome of evil. Boss: We call it "extreme marketing."