Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dogbert

View 31 - 40 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Needs To Be Dumber

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Needs To Be Dumber  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, boss, smart, dumb, technical, decision, effective, influence

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i think i'd be more effective at work if my boss were either smarter, so he'd understand me... or dumber, so he'd know it's better to let me make all of the technical decisions. and i can't make him smarter, so my plan is to make him dumber. dogbert: it seems i've been a bad influence.

Pandemic In Year Two

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pandemic In Year Two - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, tired, face, familiar, exhausting, sorry, pandemic, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i am so tired of looking at your face. i mean seriously, it's exhausting. pandemic year 2 dilbert: sorry. dogbert: well, you should be.

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health & safety, pandemic, end, meet, new, people, focus, friends, prefer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.

Dogbert Makes A Deal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Makes A Deal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, subordinates, behavior, accusation, press, douse, gasoline, fire, deal, fairness, negotiators

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i made a deal with all of the subordinates who accused you of inappropriate behavior. they will stop talking to the press if you agree to let them douse you with gasoline and set you on fire. ceo: that's the best deal you could get me? dogbert: in all fairness, they are great negotiators, and i don't like you.

Dogbert Is Selective

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is Selective - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, consultant, crisis, selective, client, jail, Advice, folksy, wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, subordinates, allegations, crisis, consultant, statement, lying, dumb, believe, public, legal, defense

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Yay, A Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Yay, A Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags package, arrived, consumer, amazon, purchase, birthday, feel, forgetfulness, dish soap

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert opening front door at home: yay! my package arrived! i buy one thing per day from amazon and then forget what i ordered, so it feels like my birthday every day. dogbert with hands over eyes: i can't watch this. yes! dish soap! how did i know i wanted that?

Talking During Zoom Call

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Talking During Zoom Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, background, business, call, competition, stop, technology, video conference call, zoom, video call

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert yelling: dogbert! can you keep down the noise while i'm on zoom! dogbert standing on chair: i'm on a zoom call too. your call isn't more important than mine! dilbert speaking to his laptop: sorry, i can't stop the background noise. dogbert yelling from another room: can you keep it down in there? i'm on a zoom call.

Closing Credits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Closing Credits  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, closing credits, finish, zoom, laptop, goodbye, people, leave, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on video conference call: okay, well, i see the closing credits scrolling by, so we must be done with our zoom call. voices from laptop: oh, i guess so. well, goodbye everyone. bye! dilbert: goodbye! dogbert: you added closing credits to a zoom call? dilbert: it's the only way to get people to leave.

Loud Using Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loud Using Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, zoom, mortgage, loud, noise, calls, war, blackmail, surprise, laptop, imagine

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!