Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 4
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 31 - 40 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 12,
2021
Boss Needs To Be Dumber
Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, boss, smart, dumb, technical, decision, effective, influence
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i think i'd be more effective at work if my boss were either smarter, so he'd understand me... or dumber, so he'd know it's better to let me make all of the technical decisions. and i can't make him smarter, so my plan is to make him dumber. dogbert: it seems i've been a bad influence.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday April 10,
2021
Pandemic In Year Two
Tuesday April 06,
2021
Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic
Tags health & safety, pandemic, end, meet, new, people, focus, friends, prefer
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.
Friday April 02,
2021
Dogbert Makes A Deal
Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, subordinates, behavior, accusation, press, douse, gasoline, fire, deal, fairness, negotiators
Transcript
dogbert: i made a deal with all of the subordinates who accused you of inappropriate behavior. they will stop talking to the press if you agree to let them douse you with gasoline and set you on fire. ceo: that's the best deal you could get me? dogbert: in all fairness, they are great negotiators, and i don't like you.
Wednesday March 31,
2021
Dogbert Is Selective
Tags business, consultant, crisis, selective, client, jail, Advice, folksy, wisdom
Transcript
title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.
Tuesday March 30,
2021
Dogbert Crisis Consultant
Tags business, managers & supervisors, subordinates, allegations, crisis, consultant, statement, lying, dumb, believe, public, legal, defense
Transcript
dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."
Thursday March 25,
2021
Yay, A Package
Tags package, arrived, consumer, amazon, purchase, birthday, feel, forgetfulness, dish soap
Transcript
Dilbert opening front door at home: yay! my package arrived! i buy one thing per day from amazon and then forget what i ordered, so it feels like my birthday every day. dogbert with hands over eyes: i can't watch this. yes! dish soap! how did i know i wanted that?
Thursday March 18,
2021
Talking During Zoom Call
Tags anger, background, business, call, competition, stop, technology, video conference call, zoom, video call
Transcript
Dilbert yelling: dogbert! can you keep down the noise while i'm on zoom! dogbert standing on chair: i'm on a zoom call too. your call isn't more important than mine! dilbert speaking to his laptop: sorry, i can't stop the background noise. dogbert yelling from another room: can you keep it down in there? i'm on a zoom call.
Monday March 15,
2021
Closing Credits
Tags business, technology, closing credits, finish, zoom, laptop, goodbye, people, leave, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert on video conference call: okay, well, i see the closing credits scrolling by, so we must be done with our zoom call. voices from laptop: oh, i guess so. well, goodbye everyone. bye! dilbert: goodbye! dogbert: you added closing credits to a zoom call? dilbert: it's the only way to get people to leave.
Sunday March 14,
2021
Loud Using Zoom
Tags business, technology, zoom, mortgage, loud, noise, calls, war, blackmail, surprise, laptop, imagine
Transcript
dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!


