Drain Hope Comic Strips - Page 4

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305 Results for Drain Hope

View 31 - 40 results for drain hope comic strips. Discover the best "Drain Hope" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #romance, #privacy, #stalking, #creepy, #creeper, #gestures, #gifts, #coworkers

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The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #computers, #customer service, #frustration, #installing drivers, #software, #tech support, #technical support, #technology, #engineering

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Dogbert's Tech Support. Dilbert: The error message says my copy of Windows is not genuine. Dogbert" I'll walk you through a series of steps that won't work. Dilbert: Wait... what? Dogbert: After seventeen attempts that involve rebooting, you will lose hope. At some point you will give up and buy a new computer just to be done with it all. We'll start by uninstalling all of your drivers and reinstalling. Dilbert: Can I skip all of the useless steps and just buy a new computer? Dogbert: Sure, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.

Showering In Tube Clothes

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Showering In Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothes, #clothing, #efficiency, #engineers, #laundry, #nerd, #tube clothes, #shower, #shower drain

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Dilbert: I discovered that I can wear my tube clothing in the shower! It's like doing laundry and taking a shower at the same time! I can add one more efficiency, but I'd need to replumb the shower drain. Tina: Please stop talking!!!

Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is

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Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #financial advisor, #investing, #money, #stock market, #swindling, #convertible notes, #preferred stock, #call options, #career ambition, #ginat mosquito

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Financial Advisor. Advisor: Convertible notes... preferred stock... municipal bonds... covered call options. These are things you can never hope to understand. So trust me and try to forget that my only career ambition is to drain your account like a giant mosquito. Boss: That sounds reasonable. Advisor: I'm always surprised at how easy this is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #frustration, #multitasking, #phone, #smart phones, #playing, #karma, #wishing death

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Dilbert: I would like to thank each of you for playing with your phones and not listening to a word I said all meeting. I hope karma is a real thing and frozen lavatory debris from airplanes kills each of you. Alice: What was he going on about? Wally: Beats me. I'm not much of a multitasker.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #insult, #insulting, #insults, #obliviousness, #robot, #filling in, #vacation, #soul less creature, #questionable intelligence

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Boss: Our robot will be sitting in for me while I'm on vacation. I hope you can get used to taking orders from a soulless creature of questionable intelligence. Wally: I think I can do that. Boss: That's the spirit!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2014's comic on:


Tags #rehab, #work ethic, #workaholic, #laundry

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Wally: If I become a workaholic, will the company pay for rehab? Boss: What would workaholics rehab look like? Wally: I hope it involves getting paid while doing no work. Boss: That's what you do now. Wally: At rehab I think they do your laundry for you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #company culture, #culture, #hiring, #incompetence, #work culture, #good fit, #stigma, #cultural hires, #wishes, #rise above

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Larry: Hi, I'm Larry. I was hired because I'm a good cultural fit. I hope we can get past the stigma that cultural hires are incompetent. But I don't know how to do that. Alice: Maybe you could ask a competent person to help you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #work ethic, #human resources, #feeling of inadequency, #boost company profits, #all weekedn, #adequate temporary basis, #business

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Catbert: My job in Human Resources is to instill in you a permanent feeling of inadequacy. Your only hope for feeling good about yourself is to work feverishly to boos company profits. If you work all weekend for free, I am willing to call you adequate on a temporary basis. Dilbert: I'll take it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employee fringe benefits, #google, #free food, #bus service, #massages, #smart, #ambitious people, #earplugs

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Ratbert: When I die, I hope to go to Google. I would spend eternity with free food, bus service, and massages. Dogbert: And you would always be around smart, ambitious people. Ratbert: That's okay. I'll bring earplugs.