Employee Manual Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

497 Results for Employee Manual

View 31 - 40 results for employee manual comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Manual" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Watch Is A Snitch

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Watch Is A Snitch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wearable tech, #health, #surveillance, #fitbit, #monitor, #fitness, #attendance

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I can't come to work today. I'm totally sick. Boss: According to your employee health monitor, you're not sick at all. Wally: Stupid snitch!!!

Reanimated Employee

Thank you for voting.
Reanimated Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #soul, #death, #near death experience, #heaven, #hell, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How did you end up with no soul? Randy: I died during surgery and my soul went to the afterlife before doctors reanimated my body. Dilbert: I thought the soul returns when that happens. Randy: You're thinking of heaven.

Emptiness And Pain

Thank you for voting.
Emptiness And Pain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #pain, #emptiness, #soul, #work ethic, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This is Randy, our new employee who has no soul. Tina: Wow. What's it like to have no soul? Randy: I feel only emptiness and pain. Tina: I hope you didn't take this job to get away from emptiness and pain. Randy: No, I just wanted to get paid for it.

Pat Yourself On The Head

Thank you for voting.
Pat Yourself On The Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #reward, #prizes, #reimbursement, #expense report

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm naming you employee of the month. Your prize is twenty dollars cash and a pat on the head. Give yourself twenty dollars and submit an employee reimbursement request. Dilbert: Can I pat myself on the head, too? Boss: I was hoping you would offer.

Contradicting Himself

Thank you for voting.
Contradicting Himself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #managing, #proof, #body cam, #camera, #recording

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my employee body cam playback, you contradicted yourself eleven times today. Boss: Your stupid body cam is interfering with my ability to manage. Dilbert: By "manage," do you mean contradicting yourself and later denying it? Boss: I don't not mean that.

Accidental Deletion

Thank you for voting.
Accidental Deletion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #coverup, #body cam, #denial, #deception, #proof

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm glad I started wearing an employee body cam. Here's a video of you yesterday, saying the opposite of what you told me today. Boss: Oops! I accidentally deleted it. Dilbert: Luckily, I have seven hundred backups.

Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #lying, #body cam, #surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...

Immersive Vr Employee Quits

Thank you for voting.
Immersive Vr Employee Quits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #civil rights, #discrimination, #artificial intelligence, #rights

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our immersive VR employee quit. He's suing the company for discriminating against digitally rendered people. Catbert: Is it too late to kill him? Boss: I tried, but he cloned himself to cloud storage.

Attending A Meeting For Kevin

Thank you for voting.
Attending A Meeting For Kevin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #sexual harrassment, #real, #fantasy, #imagination

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you attend a meeting for Kevin, our new immersive VR employee? Dilbert: Why can't Kevin do it? Boss: Alice needed him for something. Alice: Good. Now do it again, but without your shirt. Kevin: I'm not comfortable with this.

Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat

Thank you for voting.
Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #vr, #reality, #physical, #illusion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That seat is taken by Kevin, our new immersive VR employee. Asok: But... I'm a physical person. Boss: Did you just insult Kevin's corporeal identity? Asok: I don't see how that's a problem. Kevin: I can't work in this hostile environment.