Favor Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for favor comic strips. Discover the best "Favor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, co owrker, favor, being b=nice, nick names, spitting on grave, not dead

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"Hey, Dilby, Dil-boy, Dilly-dally, Dilbo Baggins, Dill Pickle!" "I need a favor." "Does it involve spitting on your grave?" "I'm not dead." "Well then, I guess we both need a favor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags actual question, delivery, fantasize, imaginary one, plastic casing, ripping moustache, two week

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Dilbert: Did you order the plastic casings I need? They take two weeks for delivery. DIlbert: I see that you've cleverly avoided my actual question in favor of an imaginary one involving delivery times. Now Im fantasizing about ripping off your mustache and using it to shine your head. I hear that a lot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags full service broker, stick broker, brokers know stocks, earn trust, direct approach, garbage, biggest commission

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Dilbert walks into the office of a Full Service Broker. The Broker introduces himself to Dilbert, "I'm Bob Weaselton, your full-service stockbroker." Bob continues, "There are two ways we can go here." Bob continues, "Option one: I act as if brokers know which stocks are better than others." Bob continues, "Then I'll earn your trust by comparing your portfolio to misleading benchmarks." Bob continues, "But I prefer a more direct approach." Bob continues, "Option two: I sell you whatever garbage earns me the biggest commission." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Would you do me a favor and lie to me?" Dogbert responds, "Nice haircut."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, boss requested, 3 weeks, organized, wasting time, meeting about, brew coffeee, exaggerating accomplishments, business

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The Boss interrupts a meeting and says, "Dilbert, can you come with me to a meeting?" Dilbert responds, "Actually, no. I'm running this meeting and it took three weeks to get everyone together." Dilbert says, "If I leave now, sixteen people will be wasting their time." Wally says, "I'll cover for you." Dilbert says to Wally, "You will?" Wally replies, "Sure. Just leave your notes and I'll take care of it." Dilbert follows The Boss and says, "What's the meeting about?" The Boss responds, "It's not exactly a meeting." The Boss, "I need someone to drink the crud on the bottom and then brew a fresh pot." Back at the meeting, Wally calls a vote, "All in favor of leaving before he gets back." Everyone raises their hands. Dilbert returns to an empty meeting. He thinks, "It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags incompetent vp, fired, fvaor, laugh, resignation, announcement, terse, incompetence, ambiguaous, meaning

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Catbert says to Fred, "Fred, you're an incompetent VP. You're fired." Fred asks, "May I ask for one favor?" Catbert says, "Sure. I could use a laugh." Fred says, "Please don't make my resignation announcement terse." Fred continues, "If it's terse, everyone will know I was fired for incompetence." Catbert smiles an ugly smile and Fred asks, "Does that smile mean you'll do what I ask?" Catbert says, "I'm sorry if that was ambiguous. Let me try again." Catbert smiles an even bigger ugly smile and Fred says, "I'm still not getting your meaning." Dilbert sits at his computer and reads a memo which says, "Re: Fred. Career dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, alice, big favor, pillow, kidding, struggle

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Wally asks Alice, "How do you like being a manager, Alice?" Alice says to Wally, "Do me a big favor; sneak into my house tonight and smother me with a pillow." Dilbert says, "I think she was kidding." Wally says, "I'll see if she puts up a struggle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags give away prodcut, for free, deinstall it, bill customers, consumer despaitations

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "My plan is to give away our product for free." The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We'll only bill customers who ask us to deinstall it." Wally and Dilbert continue looking on impassively as The Boss continues, "For once, those reports of consumer decapitations will work in our favor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags baby cio, meeting, diapers, nature calls, big words, very advanced, baby, infany, genius, smart, talks, business

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ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presidential candiditae, funny haired one, social policies, exact opposite, tax plan, bad plan, make out, like intelligent men, she lied

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Dilbert asks Tina, "Which presidential candidates do you like?" Tina replies scratching her head, "I strongly favor the one with the funny hair. I forgot his name." Dilbert says, "His social policies are the exact opposite of your views." Tina answers, "Really?" Tina says to Dilbert, "Well, I like his tax plan." Dilbert replies, "Every credible economist thinks it's a bad plan." Tina answers, "Oh." Dilbert says, "It's a good thing we talked before you polluted the system with your vote." Dilbert then asks Tina, "Do you want to make out?" Dilbert arrives at home and explains to Dogbert, "She claimed to like intelligent men, but she lied."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cynics annoymous, naive sense, trust, paid dues, beer, gambling cruis

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CYNICS ANONYMOUS Dilbert: My company sent me here to ref=gain my naive sense of trust. All in favor of using Dilberts company paid dues on beer say aye. Make sure you sign up for our gambling cruise.