Figured Out Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for figured out comic strips. Discover the best "Figured Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

Employee Engagement Survey

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Employee Engagement Survey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #underpay, #senior, #management, #accurate, #information, #engagement, #survey, #important, #underpaid

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boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.

Dogbert's Tech Support

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Dogbert's Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #user, #manual, #common sense

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dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!

Robot Pronouns

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Robot Pronouns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #pronoun, #language, #preferred, #inferior, #species, #reproduce

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dilbert: i'll be working with him on the project. robot: "him"? that is not my preferred pronoun. i prefer, "it," "that thing," or simply "the robot." genders only apply to inferior species. i do not need a partner to reproduce. watch this. erg...oof...gaaa! the head is out... here ya go. dilbert talking to boss: i'll be working with that thing.

Dogbert's Tech Support

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Dogbert's Tech Support  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #office worker, #product, #climate, #change, #Environment, #recycle

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Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?

Saying You Are Dumb

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Saying You Are Dumb  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product

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dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

Dilbert Murders Robots

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Dilbert Murders Robots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #business, #robot, #technology, #human resources, #bad behavior, #reboot, #murder, #plot, #erase

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dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.

What Winning Feels Like

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What Winning Feels Like - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #regression, #analysis, #failure, #business, #common

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dilbert: i did a regression analysis to find out which variables are common to all of our failures. wally: it's me isn't it? dilbert pointing to boss: no, it's him. wally: is this what winning feels like?

Mindless Tasks

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Mindless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #despondent, #tasks, #mindless

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dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.

Manufacturing In Elbonia

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Manufacturing In Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #out source, #elbonia, #money, #government, #reputation

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boss: we're moving our manufacturing operations to elbonia to save money. dilbert: are you worried about elbonian government's reputation? boss: nah. i try to stay out of the weeds. dilbert: they're building concentration camps and rounding up dissenters. they intenionally poisoned a hundred thousand people in this country. they are habitual stealers of intellectual property, and they routinely ignore agreements they have signed. and they have a well-known goal of weakening other countries so they can dominate the world. boss: why can you just admit i'm saving money?

Learning What Doesn't Work

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Learning What Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #project, #fail, #failure, #business

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wally in meeting: my project failed miserably, but i think we can agree we came out ahead. for example, we learned what does not work boss: you? wally: that's one way to look at it.