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View 31 - 40 results for god like comic strips. Discover the best "God Like" comics from Dilbert.com.

Augmented Reality

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Augmented Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #introduction, #reality, #glasses, #social media, #history, #impressions, #dumb, #face mask

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girl: my name is ... dilbert: stop right there. my augmented reality glasses are showing me your entire social media history. girl: i hope it makes a good first impression. dilbert yelling: my god, you are dumb!

Becoming Golem

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Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #creature, #cynical, #doom, #experience, #face mask, #golem, #jaded, #lord of the rings, #office workers, #work, #coffee, #sarcasm

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asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.

Wally Will Look Into It

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Wally Will Look Into It   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #help, #forget, #note, #procrastination, #sarcasm, #surprise

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tina: ...so, maybe you can help? wally: i'll look into it. tina: perhaps you could write yourself a little note so you don't forget. wally: nah. tina: should i abandon all hope now or wait? wally: depends how much you like surprises.

Not A Monopoly

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Not A Monopoly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #senior managment, #ceo, #government, #monopoly, #product, #essential, #modern, #life, #competition, #company, #compete, #buy out, #fail, #face mask

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ceo: the government is threatening to regulate us like a monopoly. boss: are we not a monopoly? ceo: we are simply a company that makes an essential product for modern life, and we have no real competition. boss: that sounds like a monopoly. ceo: no, we are not because other companies could compete with us if they wanted. boss: and of they tried? ceo: as soon as they got some traction we'd buy them and shut them down. dilbert: so... they would fail every time. ceo: but they could try.

Can't Let It Go

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 Can't Let It Go  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #face mask, #let it go, #office workers, #software, #technology, #test

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co-worker: i thought you said we would be testing the software by today. dilbert: nope. i never said anything remotely like that. co-worker: i can't let this go. dilbert: i didn't think you could.

Boss Using Phone

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Boss Using Phone   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #business, #disrespect, #hear, #face mask

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dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.

Sarcasm Works Better

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Sarcasm Works Better  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #technology, #business, #production, #productivity, #sarcasm

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dogbert wearing face mask: i stopped using good arguments because sarcasm works better. dilbert wearing face mask: that doesn't sound like a productive thing to do. dogbert: oooh, look who's an expert on productivity now.

Quarantine Before Date

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Quarantine Before Date  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #desperation, #dinner, #office workers, #quarantine, #technology, #two weeks

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dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.

Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus

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Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attractive, #contract, #covid-19, #dating, #eyes, #goodnight, #kiss, #lawyers, #mask, #masked, #negotiations, #office workers, #single, #technology

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carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.

Hate Edits

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Hate Edits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #office workers, #sarcasm, #edit

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Dilbert: I didn't like your analysis, so I made some hate-edits. Man: What's a hate-edit? Dilbert: You'll see. Man: You changed "in my opinion" to "according to the squirrels in my skull." Dilbert: There you go.