Got Box Comic Strips - Page 4
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676 Results for Got Box
View 31 - 40 results for got box comic strips. Discover the best "Got Box" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 15,
2018
Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
Sunday April 08,
2018
Tags #surveillance, #spying, #technology, #lying, #caught, #busted, #guilt, #proof
Transcript
Dilbert: Why didn't you answer my email? Boss: I didn't get it. Dilbert: My lie-detector app detected stress in your voice. I checked your email history on the server, and it confirms you opened my email. Boss: That could have been a hacker with my password. Dilbert: I'm checking the security camera footage for your office at that time. And there you are opening my email. Now will you admit you got my email? Boss: I'm seriously considering it.
Tuesday March 13,
2018
Team Building Lunch
Tags #lunch, #team, #teamwork, #team-building, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Is everyone ready to go to lunch yet? I've been waiting for ninety minutes. Alice: We just got back. No one noticed you weren't with us. Dogbert: How was your team-building lunch? Dilbert: Suboptimal.
Sunday February 25,
2018
Tags #birthday, #cake, #card or goft, #collect money, #collection, #leave work early, #boss birthday
Transcript
Carol: I need to go home early today. Can you collect money for our boss's birthday gift? Carol: I wouldn't ask you don to it, but his birthday is tomorrow. Dilbert: um...okay. Carol: and could you also order a cake? You'll also need a card and a gift. Dilbert: This got a lot harder than I thought it.... Carol: Thanks! Bye! Dilbert: Tomorrow is our Boss's Birthday and I need to leave for early today, so... Alice: Nice try.
Saturday February 24,
2018
Millenial Fever
Tags #millennial, #positive reinforcement, #praise, #meaning, #purpose
Transcript
Dilbert: I got millennial fever from talking to a millennial. Now I see my job as a meaningless series of empty tasks. Catbert: What do you expect me to do about that? Dilbert: I was hoping for some praise.
Tuesday December 05,
2017
Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network
Tags #hacker, #hacking, #malware, #virus, #infection, #cyber security, #obliviousness, #password
Transcript
Boss: Elbonian hackers got into our network. We don't know how. Dilbert: Maybe it was the thumb drive you found on the sidewalk in front of our entrance. Alice: Or maybe it was because your password is "password." Boss: How do you know my password?
Sunday November 26,
2017
Tags #negotiation, #demand, #haggle, #prices, #pricing, #negotiate
Transcript
Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.
Sunday October 01,
2017
Tags #micromanaging, #managers, #productivity, #google
Transcript
Boss: I have a meeting in a few minutes, so I only have time to do some micromanaging. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better do do regular managing? Boss: I don't have time for the regular kind. Dilbert: Then wouldn't it be better to do no managing at all? Boss: Some is better than none. Dilbert: Except when less is more. Boss: This got too complicated. How about I just stand behind you and suggest you Google stuff? Dilbert: Fine. I wish I had some data for this. Boss: Try Googling it.rnet,
Friday August 04,
2017
Dogbert Is A Good Listener
Tags #listening, #ignoring, #earbuds, #headphones
Transcript
Dilbert: Thanks for listening to me vent about my job. You weren't always a good listener, but apparently you matured. Dogbert: The quality of my life has improved a lot since I got wireless earbuds.
Thursday August 03,
2017
Dilbert Does Nothing Useful
Tags #work ethic, #meaning, #meaningless, #motivation, #laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: All I did today was create a bunch of PowerPoint slides that no one will understand. But I got paid the same as if I had done something useful. Is this the first stage of becoming you? Wally: If you're lucky.