Government Access Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

97 Results for Government Access

View 31 - 40 results for government access comic strips. Discover the best "Government Access" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defense industry, #internet & world wide web, #surveillance, #internet activity, #blind, #counceling, #weaponize

View Transcript

Transcript

Agent: I'm from the government. We've been monitoring your Internet activity. Half of my department went blind and the other half needs counseling. Wally: Sounds like not my problem. Agent: We'd like to weaponize you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #surveillance, #government databases, #rest passwords, #case file, #face on pennies

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I thought you were on the run for hacking the government's databases. Dilbert: I was. But they forgot to reset their passwords, so I deleted my case file and gave myself a tax break. Wally: Did you get me anything? Dilbert: You're the new face on pennies.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Family, #right to asylum, #surveillance, #execute dilbert, #treason, #top secret data, #graves, #shovel, #backyard

View Transcript

Transcript

NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punishment & torture, #punishment devices, #surveillance, #waterboard, #enjoy it, #not touched alot, #creepy, #turture techniques

View Transcript

Transcript

Abducted by the government NSA Agent: We're going to waterboard you now. Dilbert: Really? Cool. I don't get touched a lot, so I think I'll enjoy it. Is that all the water you brought? NSA Agent: Okay, this got creepy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #civil liberties, #surveillance, #arrested dilbert, #stealing data, #spy software, #givernement

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The government arrested Dilbert for stealing back the data their spy software stole from us. Alice: Whose side are we on? Wally: Well, I'm not crazy about the government. Alice: But Dilbert can be a pain in the Spanx, too. Wally: Have you ever tried apathy? It's awesome.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #civil liberties, #law enforcement officers, #surveillance, #stole sensitive info, #spy software, #stealing back

View Transcript

Transcript

NSA Agent: You hacked into a government database and stole sensitive information. Dilbert: Technically, it was my company's information that your spy software stole first. I was just stealing it back. So we're good here, right? NSA Agent: Yeah, that's how it works.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #terrorists, #film colonoscpy, #video, #hide in caves, #violation of privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert says the government wants me to film my colonoscopy and give them the video so they can check for terrorists. Catbert: That makes perfect sense. Terrorists come in all sizes and they like to hide in caves. Boss: It seems like a violation of my privacy. Catbert: Whose side are you on?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #colonoscopy, #government access, #joking, #preventive medicine, #records, #surveillance, #terrorists

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The government wants access to our customer records so they can look for terrorists. Boss: Fine. No problem. Dilbert; They also want you to get a colonoscopy and send them the video. Boss: Really? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #access, #apprval, #blocked website, #cip, #director of hr, #hostiliy, #mean, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

This website has been blocked by your company. Dilbert: Mordac, I need access to a blocked site for business reasons, Mordac: I can only unblock the site if the director of human resources sends me a written approval. Catbert: I can only make recommendations, Our Cis still has to approve it. Chief Information Officer How dare you bother me with your trivial website problem! Carol back into your hole and think about the career mistake you just made! Dilbert: Can we kip the part where you ask me what I accomplished this week?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grass roots politics, #taxes, #work ethic, #initiative, #grass roots movement, #raise taxes, #checkmate, #income level

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, I can't give you a raise this year because you didn't show enough initiative. Carol: I just formed a grass-roots movement to convince the government to raise taxes on people at your income level. Checkmate. Boss: That can't be legal.