Hello Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

102 Results for Hello

View 31 - 40 results for hello comic strips. Discover the best "Hello" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil wind blowing, #dark soul, #evil director, #human resources, #employee survey, #over reacted, #well being, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"I feel an evil wind blowing my way." "My soul is filling with darkness...Suddenly I am cold, oh, so cold." Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Hello-o-o, Asok." "GAAA!!! What are you doing here?!!" "It's time for the annual Employee Satisfaction Survey." "Perhaps I overreacted. I don't see how this could possibly be bad." "It is evident from these questions that you care about my wellbeing!" "I love the part where they think I'm here to help." Purr Purr Two Weeks Later "They're delighted with their benefits. It looks like we can save some money there."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer freeze, #possible fixes, #possible combination, #no guaretntee, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Hello. My crashinbox computer keeps freezing up. "There are 25 possible fixes but they must be tried in every combination." "That's 625 things I'd have to try with no guarantee that any of it will work." "So you're saying you're lazy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conference call, #boss, #15 people, #availablity, #august 6th, #5 minutes, #so far so good

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "Hello, this is Asok the intern. I am trying to set up a conference all with you boss and 15 other people."<Br>"Could you tell me all of the times he is available in the next six months?"<Br>"Only Augus sixth between 8:35 and 8:40." "So far so good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting in elbonia, #take a class, #culture, #accidentally offend, #hello, #gestures, #2 meaning gestures

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I want you to attend a meeting for me... It's in Elbonia." "First, you'll need to take a class on their culture so you won't accidently offend them." "This gesture either means "Hello" or "I'd like to see your mittens on my bedroom floor , baby.""

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pre meeting, #problems, #fix them, #budgets, #deadlines, #technical stuff, #any questions, #feel nauseated, #great job, #compliments

View Transcript

Transcript

Let's have a pre-meeting before your meeting with our vice president. "Don't mention any problems because he might try to fix them." "Don't say anything about budgets or deadlines because he might reduce them." "Leave out the technical stuff because it will only confuse him." "That leaves me nothing to talk about." "Perfect!" "Hello... And in summary. Are there any questions?" "Wow! That's the first presentation that hasn't made me feel nauseated or dizzy! Great job!" "Why does success make me hate humanity?" "They deserve it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fax to voice line, #prank, #on purpose, #pain, #bother, #harass, #anger, #mad

View Transcript

Transcript

Hello? This is Alice. BEEEP BEEEP You are faxing to my voice line gain you #!!%* Dilbert: How often do you fax to her voice line? wally: It depends if she's been bad.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #car, #late, #cold, #car wouldn't start, #warm out, #wind chill factor, #no actual car, #lied. boss, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: I'm late because my car wouldn't start in the cold. The boss; Its warm outside. allyL theres a little thing called the wind chill factor. Hello - o - o -o!! Dilbert: that was wrong on many levels. wally: Someday Im gotta get a car.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #300 year lifespan, #gullible nebula, #job outsourced, #relocate, #severance package, #spaceship detsroyed

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, this is praxis. Irecruited him from the gullible nebula. The Boss: I convinced him to relocate his family. Hello My spaceship was destroyed during the landing but thats no problem. I expect to work here for the rest of my 300 year lifespan. The Boss: That reminds me: we need to talk. Your job function has been outsourced. I had etc let you go. Your severance package is: I grab you by the snout and fling you onto the sidewalk. May I use you as a reference.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need to talk, #phone rings, #time stops, #frozen look

View Transcript

Transcript

"Shut the door. We need to talk about what you've done." "What?!" RING "Gaaa!!! Please don't leave me hanging! What have I done??!" "Hello." "My watch stopped. No, wait, I think time itself stopped!!!" "Note: Time-frozen people look exactly like this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety manual, #budget for binders, #deadly binders, #injury, #cheap binders, #find, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I want you to update the safety manual and distribute it." "I don't have much of a budget for binders, so use the cheapest ones you can find." "Hello, this is 'Deadly Binders, Inc.' How may I injure you?" "Gaaa!!!"