Help Comic Strips - Page 4

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424 Results for Help

View 31 - 40 results for help comic strips. Discover the best "Help" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted And The Tangle Of Cords

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Ted And The Tangle Of Cords - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #coffee, #desk, #office, #office workers, #cables, #stapler

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the boss, dibert and wally standing with coffee. the boss: has anyone seen ted lately? wally: last time i saw him he was trapped in a tangle of cables behind his desk, screaming for help. the boss: then you helped him get free? wally: i only needed his stapler.

Dogbert's Service Human

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Dogbert's Service Human - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #magazines, #office, #office workers, #service, #ipad

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dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human. office worker on leash. dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax. service human: no one reads magazines anymore. dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?

Bad Planning

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Bad Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #teamwork, #team, #deadline

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ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.

Dilbert Hires A Narrator

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Dilbert Hires A Narrator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #coffee, #office, #office workers, #narrator

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dilbert: i'm not a good communicator, so i hired a narrator. cynthia: how will a narrator help? dogbert: cynthia was as dumb as she looked.

Teaching Ai To Flirt

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Teaching Ai To Flirt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bank, #business, #office, #office workers, #robot

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dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m

Hiring Unethical Scientist

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Hiring Unethical Scientist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicious, #boss, #lawyer, #help, #search, #straightforward, #scientist, #bidding, #money

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Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.

Headphone Claims

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Headphone Claims - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #headphones, #false, #advertising, #help, #scientist, #boss, #Dilbert

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Dilbert: We're getting sued for claiming out headphones cure brain tumor and raise your IQ. Boss: We'll need to hire a scientist to back us on this. Dilbert: Where will we find a scientist willing to do that? Boss: Well, I wouldn't start with the rich ones.

Helping Ted

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Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering, #frustration, #help, #office, #office workers

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Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #video games

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Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

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Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.