How To Program Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for how to program comic strips. Discover the best "How To Program" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Makeup On Zoom

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No Makeup On Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #zoom, #call, #voice only, #makeup, #hermit, #fedex

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dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.

Wally Answers Texts Later

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Wally Answers Texts Later  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #lazy, #working, #ignore, #text, #email, #response, #data

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asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it? wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own. asok: don't you feel guilty? wally: nah. they'd do the same to me. asok: and do they? wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.

Wally Leaves Camera On

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Wally Leaves Camera On - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video conference, #zoom, #inappropriate, #camera, #call

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boss with laptop on video conference. boss: um, wally. do you know your camera is on? boss is shaken and yelling: wally!!! no!!! gaaa!!! i can't unsee it! dilbert and wally in another room. dilbert: how was your zoom call? wally: i found a way to shorten it by an hour.

Dilbert Has To Be Right

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Dilbert Has To Be Right  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #exercise, #arrogance, #Right, #therapy, #health

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dilbert and tine walking. tina: you argue with everything because you just have to be right. dilbert: how can you tell the difference between someone who "has to be right" versus someone who is right and you need therapy? tina: you're doing it again. dilbert: or am i?

Working At Home Benefits

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Working At Home Benefits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loneliness, #office, #technology, #video conference, #work at home, #co-workers, #mute

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dilbert at home on bed. wally's voice from laptop: how do you like working at home all the time now? dilbert: i was delighted to discover that a crushing sense of loneliness is better than spending time with my co-workers. wally: no offense taken. dilbert: and don't get me started about the splendor of the mute button.

Share Your Screen

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Share Your Screen  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #technology, #business, #office, #video conference, #zoom, #share, #screen, #quit

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dilbert looking at laptop on video conference voice from laptop: let me share my screen and i'll...uh-oh. oops. not that screen. don't judge me! how do i make it go away?!!! gaaa!!! i can't take the embarrassment! i quit! Dogbert and dilbert in another room dogbert: how was your zoom call? dilbert: best one ever.

Satellite Launch

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Satellite Launch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #satellite, #launch, #radar, #alien, #spaceship, #systems, #technology, #reality, #suggestion, #rocket, #trajectory, #bird, #belgium

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dilbert in control room with others: we've triple-checked all systems, and we are ready to launch the satellite. nothing can go wrong. initiating launch. boss: nothing can go wrong? what if an alien spaceship appears over the launch site? dilbert: gaaa!!! don't jinx us. boss: that's not how reality works. i can't make things happen just by suggesting them. dilbert: you're wrong! that is exactly how reality works! wa;;y: something just appeared on radar directly above the rockets trajectory. boss: maybe it's a bird. wally: it's the size of belgium.

Ghost Writer

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Ghost Writer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #author, #ghostwriter, #autobiography, #ghost, #fingers, #clothes, #keyboard, #business

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dogbert: you should hire a ghostwriter to write your autobiography. dilbert: that's dumb. a ghost's fingers would go right through the keyboard. dogbert: then how do their clothes stay on? dilbert: fair point.

Banana Is Not An Apple

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Banana Is Not An Apple - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #apple, #argue, #banana, #business, #doctored image, #google, #managers & supervisors, #search, #wrong

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dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana? boss: that's an apple. dilbert: um..no this is a banana. boss: clearly it is not. dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana. those images are doctored. dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored! boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha! dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!! boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.

Wally Hates His App

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Wally Hates His App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #application, #stop, #fix, #hate, #developers, #need, #problem solving

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wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.