Idiot Comic Strips - Page 4
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Character
136 Results for Idiot
View 31 - 40 results for idiot comic strips. Discover the best "Idiot" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 08,
2016
Commemorating Ted
Tags ravine, meanness, insult, idiot, guest artist, brenna thummler
Transcript
Carol: We're having a get-together to commemorate Ted, who drove his car into a ravine because you said he should. Dilbert: He wasn't good at handling criticism. Carol: You could have been more constructive. Dilbert: By building a bridge over the ravine?
Thursday April 07,
2016
Ted Is Not That Dumb
Tags joke, mean, bully, insult, death, idiot, idiocy, stupid, dumb, guest artist, brenna thummler, medical
Transcript
Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.
Thursday March 10,
2016
Asok Negotiates With Boss
Tags compensation, haggle, money, negotiating, negotiation, obliviousness, salary, trick, eric scott
Transcript
Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!
Wednesday February 17,
2016
Dilbert Gets Ready To Babysit
Tags parent, Parenting, babysitter, babysitting, children, listening, Family
Transcript
Dilbert: Is there anything I need to know before I babysit your kids tonight? Carol: They won't do anything you ask, and they don't respond to threats or consequences. Dilbert: So... what am I supposed to do? Carol: Try finding some idiot to babysit for you.
Sunday November 01,
2015
Tags temper, anger, calm, email, frustration, internet, communication, reaction, technology
Transcript
Alice: What the... Dilbert: It's not a good idea to answer email while you're angry. Alice: I know, but this idiot... Dilbert: Hold... That's it. Deep breaths. Hold... Hold... Alice: Phew! You were right. I should not get worked up over one idiot. He wasn't working alone! Dilbert: I'm out.
Wednesday September 30,
2015
Tags martial arts, yoga, stupid, idiot, confusion, tai chi, karate, misunderstanding
Transcript
Boss: I signed up for a martial arts class. It's something called "yoga." Carol: Have you killed anyone yet? Boss: Not on purpose.
Friday September 25,
2015
Ceo's Yacht
Tags hypocrisy, money, salary, wages, net worth, rich people, yacht, obliviousness, saving, cost
Transcript
CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.
Thursday September 03,
2015
Uncheck The Do No Harm Box
Tags murder, killing, robot, control, master, slave, moral, amoral
Transcript
Boss: Yesterday a robot murdered the CEO of our main competitor. Heh-heh. Dilbert: That could only happen if some idiot unchecked the robot's "Do No Harm" box and doomed humankind to annihilation. Boss: Say what? Robot: Hello, victims.
Sunday July 19,
2015
Tags public speaking, presentation, question, questions, stupid, idiot, idiots, criticism, critic
Transcript
Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.
Friday May 29,
2015
Alice Sets Precedent
Tags power, exploitation, frustration, helpless, mocking, teasing, cruelty
Transcript
Alice: I insulted our boss and he didn't react. The precedent has been set. I plan to test the limits of this unexpected employee benefit. What's up, idiot? Boss: Must... not... fire... good engineers.

