Inferior Technology Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

654 Results for Inferior Technology

View 31 - 40 results for inferior technology comic strips. Discover the best "Inferior Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Talks Creates A God

Thank you for voting.
Ted Talks Creates A God - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #mental, #midget, #ted talks, #binge-watching, #god, #dumb, #all knowing

View Transcript

Transcript

new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.

Ted Talks Might Take Your Job

Thank you for voting.
Ted Talks Might Take Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #social media, #technology, #instagram, #ted talks, #smart, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.

Time Stands Still

Thank you for voting.
Time Stands Still - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #phone, #search, #time, #bored, #Win, #still

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i discovered a way to make time stand still. dilbert: that isn't possible. dogbert: i'll prove it. i just need to find something on my phone and show it to you. looking... looking... here it is! wait... no, that isn't it. looking... looking... dilbert distressed: gaaa! i'm so bored watching you look through your phone!!! time is standing still! you win...and i hate you. dogbert: totally worth it.

Hiring Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hiring Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #technical, #job, #market, #hire, #moron, #critical

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.

Mandatory Blockchain Class

Thank you for voting.
Mandatory Blockchain Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.

Transfer Money To The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.

Ted Can't Make It

Thank you for voting.
Ted Can't Make It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #co-workers, #meeting, #project, #absence, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: ted says he can't make it to the meeting. wally: the only reason for this meeting is so ted can tell us what he's doing on his project. dilbert: we should reschedule. boss: not so fast. i think we can salvage this. if we guess what ted might have told us, that gets us halfway there. dilbert: i don't think it does. boss: we can't know until we try. dilbert: why don't the rest of us leave, and you can stay here and guess what we would have said, too. boss thinking alone at table: ...and then dilbert would have said...

Pragmatist

Thank you for voting.
Pragmatist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #plans, #office workers, #stupid, #pragmatist, #practical, #implement, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i'm a pragmatist. i like plans that are practical. wally: not me. i like plans that can't be implemented. way less work. asok: my way sounds stupid now.

Reading Faces

Thank you for voting.
Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #corrupt, #communists, #technology, #proposal, #reading faces

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.

Expecting Excellence

Thank you for voting.
 Expecting Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #happiness, #expectations, #coffee, #dysfunction, #excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: asok, he key to happiness is lowering your expectations. for example, all i expect from work today is twelve cups of coffee and a humorous display of corporate dysfunction. asok: that sounds sad. wally: try expecting excellence and see how that works for you.