Insults Customer Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

247 Results for Insults Customer

View 31 - 40 results for insults customer comic strips. Discover the best "Insults Customer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #insults, #marketing, #office workers, #sales, #teaching, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?

Dilbert Characters

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #customer, #meeting, #engineers, #years, #disasters, #worry, #data, #centers, #blockchain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Wally Has An Idea For Carol

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has An Idea For Carol - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #Wally, #bike, #compliment, #insults

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a great idea for you. Carol: Keep it to yourself. Your ideas are always insults masquerading as helpfulness. Wally: You seem cranky. Have you considered riding a bike to work? Carol: Die, monster!

Our Api

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Our Api - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?

Press Release About Hack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Press Release About Hack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #damage control, #apology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hackers got our customer data. Write a press release saying we are sorry and it will never happen again. Tina: Is any of that true? Boss: Part of it is. Tina: Which part. Boss: Hackers got our customer data.

Coworkers Who Are Special

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coworkers Who Are Special - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultation, #insults, #fired, #pay, #Advice, #special, #compliment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Never call your co-worker a colossal moron, That could get you fired. Instead , say, "well, aren't you special" Dilbert: Are we paying you for this advice? Dogbert: well, aren't you special.

Insulting Within Company Guidelines

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Insulting Within Company Guidelines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach, #insult, #compliment, #function, #guidelines, #co workers, #insult co workers

View Transcript

Transcript

DOgbert: I will teach you how to insult your co - workers while staying within company guidelines. The trick is to disguise your insults as compliments. Alice, I admire the way you dress for function over appearance. Alice: Thanks. wait...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #loyalty program, #survey, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Would you like to sign up for our customer loyalty program? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Man: If you don't we'll overcharge you on your purchases. But if you sign up, we will add a new level of complexity to your life that will make you hate us. Dilbert: I'll stick with the customer disloyalty program. Just overcharge me and I'll never come back. Man: You can get ten percent off your purchase today if you fill out an online customer survey and enter our store code. Dilbert: Please just overcharge me and let me leave! Man: I almost hesitate to ask which extended warranty option you want.

Ideal Customer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ideal Customer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #market research, #sham, #yes-man, #demographics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.