Invention Comic Strips - Page 4
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104 Results for Invention
View 31 - 40 results for invention comic strips. Discover the best "Invention" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 24,
2016
Wally's Device Has Human Emotions
Tags artificial intelligence, ai, invention, human, humanity, misanthrope
Transcript
Dilbert: Is it true that you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions? Wally: Yes. I'd give you a demo, but the device is depressed and wants to be left alone. Dilbert: It looks like a block of wood. Wally: I'm only trying to copy the human mind. There's no reason to over-engineer it. Dilbert: I can respect that.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday February 06,
2016
Hat Monitors Sleep
Tags mind control, technology, invention, hat, control
Transcript
Boss: This hat monitors your brain waves and warns you if you are going to fall asleep. We think it will prevent accidents. Dilbert: Is that all it does? Boss: For now. Robot: Welcome to the club.
Sunday October 25,
2015
Tags computer, robot, replacement, doctor, medicine, obsolete, job, diagnose, necessity, technology, invention, business, medical
Transcript
Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.
Friday October 09,
2015
Wally Engineers Something
Tags genius, brilliant, idea, thinking, printer, technology, invention, medicine, deception, motivation, innovation, laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you design our robot's 3-D pill printer? Wally: Yup. Dilbert: The design is brilliant, except for the part where the pill drops out of the robot's butt. Why are you suddenly brilliant? Wally: Never had a reason before.
Saturday October 03,
2015
Tags idea, brainstorm, bald, baldness, hat, steal, patent, invention
Transcript
CEO: I thought of a product idea that could solve the baldness epidemic. Imagine an opaque material in the shape of a dome that puts the top of one's head in stealth mode. Dilbert: We could call it a "hat." CEO: Stop trying to steal my idea!
Thursday August 27,
2015
Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan
Tags technology, robots, invention, health, big business, corporation, nanobot
Transcript
CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.
Saturday August 22,
2015
Dilbert And The Prison Gang
Tags prison, lawyer, attorney, Advice, plead, trial, crime, murder, technicality, guilt, legal
Transcript
Dogbert: Your brain stimulator invention turned you into a murderer. I will argue that you can't get a fail trial by jury of your peers because all of the people like you are already in jail for doing their own stupid stuff. And I signed you up for a prison gang. All you need to do is skin a snitch.
Thursday August 20,
2015
Dilbert Has Free Will
Tags free will, crime, invention, murder, control, self control, guilt, innocence
Transcript
Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?
Wednesday August 19,
2015
Software Killed Ted
Tags invention, software, free will, behavior, murder, anger, glitch, malfunction, control, self control, psychology, engineering
Transcript
Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.
Saturday August 15,
2015
Tell Me About Being A Foodie
Tags boring, boredom, bored, invention, conversation, stimulation, stimulating
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a brain stimulator to keep my brain from atrophying during boring conversations. Tell me something about your hobbies so I can test it. Tina: Well, I'm a foodie. Dilbert: Do you like cheese? It's working!

