Irrelevant Things Said Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

822 Results for Irrelevant Things Said

View 31 - 40 results for irrelevant things said comic strips. Discover the best "Irrelevant Things Said" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Needed To Know

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
  Ted Needed To Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #technology, #business, #email, #forward, #malice, #slander, #private, #know, #face maks

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i forwarded your email to ted. Dilbert shaken: WHAT!!! i said bad things about ted! that was a private email to you! alice: he needed to know. dilbert yelling: he did not need to know!

Can't Let It Go

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Can't Let It Go  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #face mask, #let it go, #office workers, #software, #technology, #test

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i thought you said we would be testing the software by today. dilbert: nope. i never said anything remotely like that. co-worker: i can't let this go. dilbert: i didn't think you could.

Boss Doesn't Understand

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
  Boss Doesn't Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #server, #migration, #difficult, #understand, #question, #face maks

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: can you finish the server migration by monday? dilbert: no way. boss: how hard can it be? dilbert: you only say that about things you don't understand. boss: i ask that question every day. dilberty: yup.

Boss Using Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Using Phone   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #business, #disrespect, #hear, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.

Dilbert Tells The Odds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Tells The Odds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #estimate, #managers & supervisors, #miscommunication, #odds, #technology, #wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i estimate odds at a 70% chance things go well, and a 30% chance we lose money on the deal. boss: if we lose money, will you admit you were wrong? dilbert: how could i be wrong? i'm just telling you the odds. boss: if we lose money, that's on you for recommending it. dilbert: um...no. i'm telling you the odds and letting you decide. boss: but you're the one saying this is such a great deal. dilbert upsetting and yelling forcing face mask off his face: i'm only telling you the odds, you pea-brained ignoramus!!! boss: so, you won't admit you were wrong? dilbert's face mask is over his eyes.

You Can Say No

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
You Can Say No - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #technology, #insubordination, #stupid, #test, #video, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert wearing face mask: did you know you can just refuse to do things that are stupid, and it will be okay? tina: i don't believe that. dilbert: it's true! i've been testing it all week. tina: take a video next time you do it so i can see how. dilbert: no, that's stupid.

Tracking Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tracking Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body cam, #freedom, #keystrokes, #location, #managers & supervisors, #phone, #report, #status, #technology, #track, #video conference, #work at home, #working

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: maybe i could permanently work at home. boss: on video conference: no problem. i just need a few things from you to make sure you are working. dilbert: such as? boss: well. obviously, i need frequent status reports. dilbert: sounds reasonable. boss: and i'll need to track your keystrokes and your phone's location. dilbert: wow. well, okay. i guess i can get used to that in return for my freedom to work at home. boss: now that I've loosened you up. let's talk about fitting you for a body cam.

Getting Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Getting Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #technology, #input, #dumb, #human, #universe, #Opinion, #strategy, #worse

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.

Stopping Theft Everywhere

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stopping Theft Everywhere - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #technology, #system, #reduce, #theft, #dumb, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.

Virus Hellscape

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virus Hellscape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #diseases, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have ten munutes to come talk to me about the project timeline. Dilbert: Yes, but it isn't worth exposing myself to you virus-droplet hellscape. Boss: I'll just guess what you would have said. Dilbert: I think that's best.