Kill Me Comic Strips - Page 4

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187 Results for Kill Me

View 31 - 40 results for kill me comic strips. Discover the best "Kill Me" comics from Dilbert.com.

Drone Defense Kills Birds

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Drone Defense Kills Birds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, drone, national security, design, birds, flying, collateral damage

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Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.

Twitter The Video Game

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Twitter The Video Game - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags twitter, social media, game, ignorance, trick, prank, technology

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Dilbert: Our sales dropped to zero after you offended customers on Twitter. Did someone tell you Twitter was a video game? Narrator: One week ago. Boss: And how would I kill these trolls? Wally: With your words.

For The Good Of The Country

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For The Good Of The Country - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apple, iphone, technology, national security, privacy, terrorism, encryption

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Boss: The government wants us to make software to crack our own encryption. Dilbert: That sounds evil. Boss: It's for the good of the country. Dilbert: Can I test it on your phone? Boss: You'd have to kill me first. Dilbert: That would be two good things for the country.

Asok Not A Terrorist

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Asok Not A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags terrorist, terrorism, extremism, frustration, racism, accusation, accuse

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Boss: Did you threaten to kill Dick? Asok: He accused me of being a terrorist! Boss: Are you? Asok: Gaaa! I just want to blow up this whole building! Boss: Um... I need to make a call. Asok: It better not be about me!

Dick Acuses Asok

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Dick Acuses Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet, comment, troll, bait, terrorism, terrorist, accuse, accusation, forum, technology

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Dick From The Internet. Dick: I hear you're a terrorist sympathizer. Asok: Noooo! That is a racist rumor. Dick: You must be guilty or you wouldn't be denying it so hard. Just admit you want to kill me. Asok: Now I do want to kill you!!!

Death By Emoji

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Death By Emoji - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emoji, communication, miscommunication, murder, crime, deception, engineers, work ethic

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Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.

Carol Overschedules

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Carol Overschedules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags useless, laziness, work ethic, ignorance, trying, effort, club

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Carol: I understand you better than the others because I'm useless, too. Wally: I always thought you were trying to kill our pointy-haired boss by overscheduling him. Carol: I am. It just hasn't worked yet. Wally: That's not good enough to get into the useless club.

Dilbert's Project Is Late

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Dilbert's Project Is Late - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags raise, wages, money, salary, catch-22, anger, frustration, labor, review

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't finish your project on time. Dilbert: That's because you make me work on your personal project half of every day. Boss: You have to learn to say no. Dilbert: I've never wanted to kill you more than right now.

Robot As Assassin

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Robot As Assassin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, murder, instruction, control, master, slave, assassin, morals, cautionary tale

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Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.

The Boredom Of Living Off The Grid

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The Boredom Of Living Off The Grid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiding, grid, off the grid, bored, bore, boredom, Entertainment

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Dilbert: The government will never find me off the grid. G-Man 1: He went off the grid. G-Man 2: Problem solved. The boredom will kill him in two days. Dilbert: Looking at a stick. Still looking at a stick.