Leave Employee Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

756 Results for Leave Employee

View 31 - 40 results for leave employee comic strips. Discover the best "Leave Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Toxic Employee Was Right

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee Was Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #fire, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: does anyone have any suggestions for improving our company culture? dilbert: for starters, you could fire the toxic employee you hired for no good reason. boss whispers to toxic employee: you were right about dilbert being a hater. toxic employee: you should hear what he says about you.

View more books now

Toxic Employee Covers All Bases

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee Covers All Bases - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #office workers, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

dibert: hey, aren't you the new toxic employee? toxic employee: i told your boss you think he's a jerk for giving wally an award for work you did. dilbert: i never said that. toxic employee: i covered that base by telling him you're a liar.

Toxic Employee And Tina

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee And Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

toxic employee: hi. i'm the new toxic employee. i sense you don't have enough problems, so i came to give you some. tina: ha! i'm too smart to fall for that. toxic employee: that's what i told dilbert, but he smirked.

Toxic Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired a toxic employee to keep the rest of you on your toes. if you utter one wrong word, this thing will report you to human resources. dilbert: what gender is it? toxic employee: stop hitting on me.

Employee Engagement Survey

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Engagement Survey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the employee engagement survey results are in. aaand...not a single person answered the survey. looks like we have room to improve. dilbert: have you considered bribery?

Half Are Doing All The Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Half Are Doing All The Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #employment, #fire, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: according to experts, about half of all employees are typically doing 100% of the work. i plan to beat the system by firing half of you. dilbert: wouldn't you need to keep firing half of whoever was left until you were down to one employee? boss: yes, but imagine how hard he will work.

Boss Surgery

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Surgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #brain, #employees, #insults, #surgery

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: There's a new surgery that can turn employees into bosses. Boss: How can surgery turn an employee into a boss? Dr: You won't be needing this.

Layoff Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Employee Engagement

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office, #time, #engagement

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm assigning you to work on our employee engagement initiative. dilbert: does it matter that i think that project sounds like a complete waste of time? the boss: nah.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #office, #office workers, #pay raise, #employee of the year

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.