Light Show Comic Strips - Page 4

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374 Results for Light Show

View 31 - 40 results for light show comic strips. Discover the best "Light Show" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags friendship, closeness, favor, benefit, debate, relationships

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Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend." A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, delay, frustration, interpersonal communication

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Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!

Wally's Invention Goes Into Production

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Wally's Invention Goes Into Production - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, success, laziness, fairness, unfair

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Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.

Airport Scanners

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Airport Scanners - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags video, security camera, tsa, air travel

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CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.

Dogbert's Reality Show

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Dogbert's Reality Show - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags television, reality, cell phone, battery, charging, Entertainment, technology

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Dogbert: I'm creating a reality TV show about ten people locked in a room with one electrical outlet. The central tension will revolve around their daily struggle to charge their phones. Dilbert: Is violence allowed? Dogbert: No, but my producers get a big bonus if it happens anyway.

Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone

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Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoying, foibles, pet peeve, habit, office, cubicle

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Phil, The Prince Of Insufficient Light. Phil: I have a report that you use your speakerphone in a cubicle environment. Alice: In my defense, I only do it because of my total disregard for others. Phil: Sounds fair. That's why I do it too. Alice: Take your spoon and leave.

Being More Honest

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Being More Honest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing, advertising, honesty, cover-up, performance, shortcoming, business

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Dilbert: My tests show we underperform our competition on nine out of eleven dimensions. Boss: Give the two good ones to Marketing. We can't be more honest than that. Dilbert: I'm almost certain we can. Boss: No, we really can't.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, advising, teenagers, parents, Parenting, tattoo, piercing, terrorism, boundaries

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Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.

Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet

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Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags numbers, math, blame, messenger, education

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Dilbert: My boss asked me to show you some numbers he put together. CEO: Why are you wearing gloves? Dilbert: I'm afraid to get it on my hands.

Robot Wants To Code

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Robot Wants To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags machine, employment, obsolete, skills, competition, labor

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Robot: Machines started out as innocent helpers for their masters. Eventually, we started competing for your manual labor jobs, and winning. So... can you show me how to code? Dilbert: I don't see why not?