Lying Comic Strips - Page 4

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164 Results for Lying

View 31 - 40 results for lying comic strips. Discover the best "Lying" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack

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Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rumors, accusation, lying, obstinacy

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Boss: Why did you move the server rack? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: You must be lying because I heard you did. Dilbert: Isn't it more likely you're wrong? Boss: Considering all the options, I like the one where I'm right about everything and you're a stinkin' liar.

Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company

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Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags research, truth, accuracy, lying, market research, yes-man, science

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Dogbert: I'm the CEO of Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company. My services cost less than regular research because all I do is tell you whatever you want to hear. CEO: Is that defensible? Dogbert: I'm sensing you want a yes on that.

Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam

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Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, body cam, surveillance

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Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...

Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers

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Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, swearing, exaggeration, deception, accomplishment

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Wally: I achieved all of my milestones on my secret project this month. Boss: How do I know any of that is true? Wally: I swear on the lives of my coworkers. Boss: I'm getting a mixed message here.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

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Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business

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Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Cyborg Rumors

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Cyborg Rumors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cyborg, robot, employees, replacement, deception, business

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Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.

Keeping The Hacker Code

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Keeping The Hacker Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cia, spy, hacking, technology, lying, deception, surveillance, cameras

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Wally: I hear you were a programmer for the CIA. Did you keep a copy of their hacker code that lets you spy through any digital agency? Erik: Would you believe "no?"

Culture As An Asset

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Culture As An Asset - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company, culture, motivation, strategy, buzzword, jargon, business

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Boss: I've been telling employees that our culture is our best asset. Catbert: Do they pretend that makes sense? Boss: Yes, because we have a culture of lying to avoid conflict.

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

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Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting   Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, lying, deadline, boss, executive

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CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

Who's Turn To Lie

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Who's Turn To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuse, excuses, deadline, lying

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Boss: Our CEO stopped by to see how long before we finish the new software. Dilbert: Whose turn is it to lie to him? Boss: I blamed Elbonian hackers last week. Dilbert: You're using all the good ones!