Lying Comic Strips - Page 4
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164 Results for Lying
View 31 - 40 results for lying comic strips. Discover the best "Lying" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 25,
2017
Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack
Tags rumors, accusation, lying, obstinacy
Transcript
Boss: Why did you move the server rack? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: You must be lying because I heard you did. Dilbert: Isn't it more likely you're wrong? Boss: Considering all the options, I like the one where I'm right about everything and you're a stinkin' liar.
Wednesday August 16,
2017
Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company
Tags research, truth, accuracy, lying, market research, yes-man, science
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm the CEO of Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company. My services cost less than regular research because all I do is tell you whatever you want to hear. CEO: Is that defensible? Dogbert: I'm sensing you want a yes on that.
Monday August 07,
2017
Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam
Tags lying, body cam, surveillance
Transcript
Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...
Saturday July 29,
2017
Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers
Tags lying, swearing, exaggeration, deception, accomplishment
Transcript
Wally: I achieved all of my milestones on my secret project this month. Boss: How do I know any of that is true? Wally: I swear on the lives of my coworkers. Boss: I'm getting a mixed message here.
Friday July 21,
2017
Make It Hard To Uninstall
Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business
Transcript
Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.
Friday May 26,
2017
Cyborg Rumors
Tags cyborg, robot, employees, replacement, deception, business
Transcript
Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.
Friday May 05,
2017
Keeping The Hacker Code
Tags cia, spy, hacking, technology, lying, deception, surveillance, cameras
Transcript
Wally: I hear you were a programmer for the CIA. Did you keep a copy of their hacker code that lets you spy through any digital agency? Erik: Would you believe "no?"
Wednesday April 26,
2017
Culture As An Asset
Tuesday December 20,
2016
Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected
Tags deception, lying, deadline, boss, executive
Transcript
CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.


