Managing Comic Strips - Page 4

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55 Results for Managing

View 31 - 40 results for managing comic strips. Discover the best "Managing" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2007's comic on:


Tags #elbonian branch, #in my own country, #see you inperson, #mud, #work long hours, #wear dockers

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The Boss: I'll be managing the Elbonian branch office but I'll be based in my own country. "I'll never see you in person but I want you all to work long hours and wear Dockers." "What is he doing?" Elbonian: "Sometimes we use mud to muffle laughter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #management consulatant, #consulting firm, #worthless, #managing, #consulting, #hired

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Dogbert: "You should hire me as your management consultant." Man: "We're a management consulting firm. We don't need a management consultant to consult us." Dogbert: "Are you saying that management consulting is worthless?" Man: "No, I'm saying we already know everything about management consulting." Dogbert: "How can you be so sure I can't help you when you don't know what my advice will be?" Man: "Okay, you're hired. What's your advice?" Dogbert: "Beats me. I'll have to ask my management consultant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #managing, #easier, #awards for best places, #work, #handle situation, #losers

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The Boss: Managing is a lot easier now that we've given up on winning one of those 'Best Places to Work' awards. Dilbert: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Not for losers." "There was a time when I wouldn't have known how to handle that situation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #travel budget, #training budget, #training support, #software busdget, #training, #mandatory software upgarde, #brains

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Alice: Our travel budget is shot. The Boss: We'll take money out of the training budget. Dilbert: We need training to support our new product. The Boss: We'll use the software budget for training. Asok: We need to do a mandatory software upgrade. Fine. Move some money from teh travel budget to the software budget. The Boss: Geez, you people do nothing but complain. Meanwhile I'm managing my brains out. Alice: I wondered what happened to them. The boss: Happened to what?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2006's comic on:


Tags #project wombat, #project manager, #inviting me, #expertise, #knowledge of expertise

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Yesterday I had a great meeting about Project Wombat. "What?!" "I've been managing that project for six months! How can you have a meeting without inviting me?!!" "Have you noticed that meetings go smoother without any knowledge or expertise?" "Kinda."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2006's comic on:


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I'm too busy to learn anything about the projects I'm managing. "I barely have enough time to make critical decisions about them." "Maybe you're lazy and stupid." "Let's go down to the pond and throw rocks at the ducks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #managing vague directions, #punishing people, #genius

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The Boss: There must be more to managing than giving vague directions and punishing people for not reading my mind. But I like to play within my game. Its a form of genius. Catbert: wake me up when some of this is about me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #sexy project, #boost career, #sound good better job, #nano tech nology, #fighting terrorists

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The Boss: I need to be managing a sexier project to boost my career. \it only has to sound good and not fail until I geta better job. How about a nanotechnology set cell for fighting terrorists? Dilbert: O-O-OKay.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2003's comic on:


Tags #focusing on bandwidth, #organic growth, #table an issue, #sudebar, #managing expectations, #ducks in a row, #no project

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The Boss: "Wally, what's the status of your project?" Wally: "Deep breath.. clear my mind..." "I've been focusing my bandwidth on organic growth." "I'm getting lots of push-back, so I'm taking the discussions offline." "But sometimes I table an issue or handle it in a side bar." "Now I have my ducks in a row. The deal-breakers are on the back burner, and I'm managing expectations." The Boss: "Okay... keep up the good work." Dilbert: "Wally, you don't have a project." "What? Then why am I so tired?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #red color, #presentation, #yellow, #set standards, #background colors, #metero, #pointy haired, #managing nitwits, #ear hole

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "And then I would end the presentation with this." The Boss is sitting next to two other pointy-haired people. He says, "Whoa! I don't like the look of that background color." The Boss continues, "Red says danger. We don't want to scare our customers." Dilbert responds, "Um.. okay. How about yellow?" The second pointy-haired person says, "Yellow? Are we saying we're cowards?" The third pointy-haired person says, "What we need is a committee to set some standards for background colors." Dilbert responds, "What we need is a meteor to pulverize you three pointy- haired, micro-managing nitwits." After the meeting, Wally asks Dilbert, "If you didn't move your mouth, how did it get out?" Dilbert responds, "It came out of my ear hole."